By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks 81 696
You deserved it 8 509
Intimacy
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

charlybarly 0

hey, at least your getting your ins

616 27

Comments

charlybarly 0

hey, at least your getting your ins

616 27
JinDoritos 3

well, that is awkward. but hey, at least you get some. ?

21 55
zozohearts 0

There's a thing called turn off the lights.. There's even a song about it :D

123 7
yummcookie 0

my ex would only do it in the dark, but I eat my carrots ;)

208 8
fymother 13

if she can't love herself, there's no way she knows how to love someone else! sorry bud

98 23
garrettsgirl 0

umm at least she is willing to do something just not in the way you thought she would.

26 5
SeasonedLemur 5

47# are you speaking of the legendary song by steel panther???!

19 4
Jammy01jams 2

She may have some sort of deformity on her stomach. (Know a girl with). So deal with it if you are grossed out by it, or reassure her that you don't mind.Not really an FML.

2 1
badmamajama123 0

i picture black, with red curvy streaks going through it

19 41
hydef14 2

I think that some people have fetishes for things like that.

21 2
godmax1 3

I pictured a matching swimming cap even tho it wasn't mentioned

120 4
kingtz 6

One hole in the crotch....does that mean anal is out of the question?

137 7
Iamaninchworm 0

I pictured a pink one.

9 32
BrokenDreamer24 15

47- That's not true. I hate my body and how I look, yet I love my boyfriend more than anything in this world. I'm very self-conscious about how I look, but I would never go as so far to do what OP's girlfriend did.

55 5
dolphincheddar 10

I pictured a black leather one covered in spikes with a skull symbol. but Thats cuz I watch too much ****

68 8
adam797 0

i pictured purple one too with white poka dots

4 26
FMMFL1992 3

I'd be distracted thinking about what's under the swimsuit and why she's so self conscious about it. She probably got a really hair back or something

10 30
Lexiloulynn 2

I pictured the swimsuit the ugly daughter from grown-ups wore:/

73 4
LipstickLullabie_fml 1

me too!

6 5
sydney_herbach 3

wow I have extreme insecurities but I think wearing a bathing suit would only make that more obvious. otherwise your bf prob doesn't notice, unless u have a deformity you're prob ok

9 3
ceepevoy 0

I wonder if this girl is severely overweight or if it's a mental thing, either way I think it sucks that she felt that bad about her body that she went to that extreme.

20 0
angiedancesalott 8

219 - you made my life.

10 6
Iamnotmyself 17

373 please show me where the evidence is for that, or are you going off assumptions?

10 2
wtvr 2

i just hope op didnt laugh as hard as i did just now

1 8
BelleCharmante 7

My mental image was a nice, deep burgundy.

1 14
yoyoforpeace 14

I pictured a black bathing suit and a bush surrounding the hole.. :(

1 8
MissDanish17 5

Still counts! I JUST HAD SEX!!!!

1 5
CatEyes66 0

I wonder what she has experienced in her life to make her so self conscious about her body. Cutting a hole in a one piece bathing suit to have sex is pretty serious.

182 3
peachesbeach 0

she was trying her best :( it's quite a clever idea tbh

119 7
chongers18 0

When you saw her walk out you should've started humming the Jaws theme song and sexually attacked her, while pretending you were a shark and she was a helpless swimmer. :)

154 15
chongers18 0

^^ who doesn't want one of me in the bedroom?

41 8
denktron420_fml 0

kapippenger, I LOVE your picture. Fallout ftw! OP, I'm sorry. that sucks.

8 2
kapippenger 0

Thanks, BA game. Oh and nice Jaws idea whoever said that. Lmao

6 1
crissyspic 0

I wonder why she's so insecure. you didn't even mention if you thought she was hot or not.

6 2
justalilrandom2 4

Oh my, you lucked out there son, we all want a girlfriend who wears a crotchless one piece to do it...

384 33
Mach10 0

Actually... I'd never considered it until now, but frankly, I'm a little aroused

114 3
CryMoreFMLs 14

Large people need love too! It's not fair that skinny people get it all... I'm a large man and I am proud.

49 20
justalilrandom2 4

Chubby girls give more options for sex than normal, you've got extra folds you can use.... Yum.

9 69
darkangel4700 0

yum "hey hun I found some cheese" wtf! lol I'm a tubby girl so I can talk

4 18
applznoatz 1

I like guys with some meat on their bones! Guys just look like wormy meth heads when they're too skinny. I'm not talking naturally slim, or athletic slim types. I mean wormy little skeezy types. Ew.

5 0
decidedlyvague 11

you're tubby so you can't talk. BAHAHAHAHA

1 6
karpoi 11

The ****? That's disturbing...... but each to their own I guess.....

12 4
xCocobirdx 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
SugarCrazy 14

Damn, people these days are just getting more and more creative with the comments...

23 2
NikkiFlysKites 8

329, such a clever comment. Only a thousand people have bitched about the same thing. Bravo for being so creative.

5 27
SugarCrazy 14

356, Who pooped in your cornflakes?

28 2
xjessxjessx 0

yea at least your still getting to have sex :)

132 29
iSurf_fml 8

Yeah but too bad it won't get him brownie points, cause' technically, it doesn't count.

5 92
hatesfate 6

it doesn't count? how many times have you hit your head surfing to think that?

88 3
rawrriri 8

.-. at least you still get to have sex even though she's extremely insecure about her body. As long as your needs were pleased.

10 41
tsume24 3

you hate stupid people yet you think sex doesn't count if both people aren't naked, and you "refuse to believe that 'alot' is 'a lot?'" not to mention you even look like an all-around derp and a half. can you go back to middle school so you don't make yourself look so dumb next time? thanks.

42 3
goshpeople 4

Leaving aside the idea that somehow non-naked sex "doesn't count", how in the world does having sex give you brownie points?

31 1
nissanman_fml 16

I think iSurf's mother dropped her on her head too many times when she was a baby. She claims to love proper grammar, yet fails to use it. She says she hates the stupid, but her highly unintelligent comments describe her as just that: stupid. Just reading the about section on her profile caused strain on my eyes. Please remain in America, iSurf, so that your stupidity may remain contained within the US of A.

34 9
tsume24 3

165, as much as I hate being American myself, I think we should give her to the toaster waffle girl's mom. keep the stupidity contained and such.

12 3
Fruitmonster2 15

What if America doesn't want her? Wait... I thought there weren't any women on the internet. Or so I've been told.

2 5
tsume24 3

271: yeah, I'm just an illusion.

2 2
maddehsaurr 0

35 any penetration counts.

0 5
maddehsaurr 0

35 any penetration counts.

0 5
iSurf_fml 8

48- Like 87 times, but who's counting?

3 9
iSurf_fml 8

Wow you guys are assholes, I didn't think before posted. Sorry for giving you headaches.

1 12
swift1fan4ever 0

not all Americans are idiots, idiot.

16 2
kapippenger 0

Every country has people they are ashamed of. It's a shame we have to have those shameful people. Shame on them!!

13 2
tsume24 3

you didn't give us headaches, dear. many people can recognize sheer stupidity with about as much effort as it took for you to produce said stupidity. am I going too fast for you?

4 1
emilieee_fml 0

tee hee hee derp in a half:) made my morning!!:)

0 7
iSurf_fml 8

363-Jesus Christ, it's funny how much you can judge me from a few comments, "dear". You must really take your shit seriously, as it seems you're a die-hard expert commenter. Yeah, I'll admit it, I'm half stupid. I'm a hypocrite, we all are. Sorry for your time.

14 8
iSurf_fml 8

Sirin, please delete this. I'm ashamed of myself for trolling.

0 1
chocomilk82 0

nahhhh i've seen better

69 6
abcd4242 0

Haha the vibrator was the best!!!

18 7
twizzlers1718 0

IMO, the one where the girl tries to bite her boyfriends neck and actually pops a pimple in her mouth is the best FML.

13 5
darkangel4700 0

no no no the one wer the guy watches his boss try to put a magnet to card board for like an hour is the best

3 11
Sessyann 1

No the best was when a girls bf jabbed her in the face with his "shark" and started humming the theme song to jaws

6 1
Miss_Whipped 43

Definitely the one where the girl caught her boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" with glow-in-the-dark condoms.

0 0
kings1fan 6

This is pretty funny! Look on the bright side at least you still get to have sex!

45 21
Mirorbo 26

Poor darling... can you really blame her? Society has turned very shallow these days. If one has just a tiny bit of tummy fat, they're ridiculed for it and called obese. It's sad...

307 12
DjeePee 24

But why do you think she's a little bit fat? I was also very self conscious about my body when I was a teenager (and sometimes I still am, but never like this), and I was the thinniest (right spelled?) girl of my class. You're right about society, though, but even the (extra) small and medium sized people have often issues.

24 72
lidemocr 0

I think she was just sighting an example and you're kind of braggy "Ms Thinnest" lol sorry couldn't resist

51 11
bryyxoo 0

Even an FML comment seems to make people insecure these days. Sorry, couldn't resist.

29 6
SeedlessMe 13

Um, 65-she wasn't being 'braggy' in the slightest! She was stating that she was skinny, but still self conscious about her body. I was so skinny in highschool, I had no boobs! Not always a good thing.. I get it, chica :)

30 13
Nyankat5 0

very true and like me too

0 5
keyofdestiny13 24

No where in the FML did it say OP's girlfriend thought she was fat. It said "self conscious." You can be self conscious about other things on your body aside from fat or lack thereof.

0 0
barlessprison 16

Poor girl's going to be 10 times more self conscious now that you've announced this to a bunch of strangers over the Internet.

298 13
smurfsarwales 9

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
11 55
SirHobnobs 0

But that still doesn't justify him posting it here

40 7
my_fml_account 2

She wouldn't know it was her boyfriend? How many people do you think act this crazy? It's pretty much just OPs girlfriend.

28 4
bingababe 16

44 I'm guessing that if she is an FML user and did read this, she'd definitely know it was her boyfriend. I mean there can't be that many girls cutting holes out of bathing suits to facilitate sex......

30 1
DjeePee 24

I hope you refused it, OP. I don't think it's a very good idea to have sex with someone who is afraid of her own body. She absolutely needs to love and respect herself, otherwise you'll both will get frustrated (you because you'll never will see her naked, she because she thinks (you think) she's ugly). This is not a good start for a healthy (sex) life. But boy, she has some serious issues.

138 34
DjeePee 24

Coming from a girl without a real picture?

77 16
smurfsarwales 9

43raped 22. and also 43 probably doesn't always where the mask, its not like she's to self conscious of her face to take it off?

2 6
awickedsomething 0

Well, that was off topic. -_-

7 3
SeedlessMe 13

You realize it's a profile picture, right? Doubtful she walks around with the mask on 24/7...

58 2
xXshadowrollerXx 6

11 - Usually, I like your posts, and I like this one as well, but I think it's best to admit defeat.

7 26
DjeePee 24

Defeat? Why? We're not in a war, aren't we? The only thing I like to know is why I 'failed'. I honestly can't see it.

21 4
tsume24 3

djeepee, you had really good points and I totally agree. OP should learn how to make his girlfriend feel like the sexiest girl in the world, especially if she's got self-image and confidence issues. btw I like your picture so everyone else can stfu.

18 3
Alex94xela 0

I like the gas mask it looks cool. where'd u get it from?

9 2
cradle6 13

Damn, people are ignorant about this kinda thing. 11 is right, they are some serious issues with this girl. 99% of the girls I've dated or even just knew were insecure and self conscious but this FML is just a new level of insanity. OP, I think maybe the best option is to back off from this girl. She needs space, and needs to learn to love herself. This is definitely a sign of something much deeper.

17 4
vistamar 3

haha im waiting for some girl to call 175 "cute." I swear every comment i see with him theres always that one girl that comments that hahaha. Its hilarious.

8 2
cradle6 13

199, haha I think you're confusing me with someone else. I don't seem to remember that happening at all on this site.

7 2
zinjiitsdanaa 3

175 you're cute.

0 1
Proudmary 2

Eh, she'll get over it in time. If this is one of them long-term relationships, obviously. It will take her a while and will involve lots of lovin with the lights off...but sure enough at one point she will get over it.

0 5
8313girl 28

Being self conscious is one thing but this is taking it too far. Besides there are ways around an extra curvy body like corsets, thigh highs and garter belts. Make it sexy girls! Don't make it weird.

0 1