By An. - 11/1/2021 15:01 - United States - Denver

Good job

Today, after a really bad day, I just wanted to order DoorDash. When my food came, I saw my burger had tomatoes in it, despite requesting no tomatoes. I’m deathly allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

891

You deserved it

Favorite

Food

Out of it

Or he's just becoming an old goober

Optimism

By kekumbas - United States

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51582

You deserved it

3841

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By mrsfantastic - United Kingdom

Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42454

You deserved it

6474

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By Thank you, exactly what I wanted Sergeant

Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML

I agree, your life sucks

16426

You deserved it

1548

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By -___- - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

68571

You deserved it

27623

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By PukinFireman - United States

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33041

You deserved it

5079

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10329

You deserved it

31292

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By Anonymous

It's only a bit of liquid fun, come on!

Today, I asked the guy I'm dating if he could not drink on our next date, because he ends up drunk-driving every time. His response was, "This isn't working out." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1665

You deserved it

291

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By Shalamar - Canada

Today, the new guy at work - who is probably at least ten years older than I am - admired the photo on my desk of myself with my husband and teenage daughters and asked "Are those your grand-children?" I'm in my 40's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27230

You deserved it

2754

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By oops - United States

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17066

You deserved it

81281

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By Marc - United States

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30828

You deserved it

2176

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By Ava

Today, a jobless person felt sympathy for me because I work retail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1834

You deserved it

225

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By Thanks Babe - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59968

You deserved it

7540

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By Lily - United States

Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33845

You deserved it

4547

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By frmitalywithlove - United States

Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys up onto the top shelf in storage. I'm 4'10. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30538

You deserved it

4040

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By E.S. - United States

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12139

You deserved it

40817

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By Flipside - United States

Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks

112515

You deserved it

6402

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By Anonymous - Canada - Orillia

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29497

You deserved it

2278

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By dumbass - United States

Today, I got into my first car accident. I hit my own parked car while trying to drive my mother's car into the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9845

You deserved it

26990

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By - 26/2/2020 20:00

No thanks

Today, I ask the guy that I like if he want to go to lunch tomorrow at a local restaurant. He answer that he doesn't like their food. I think that's is a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1488

You deserved it

297

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By Garfield - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24464

You deserved it

3828

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37097

You deserved it

3346

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By hatelittleboys - United States

Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8960

You deserved it

64071

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By AcademicAdvisor - United States - Boston

Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13789

You deserved it

1111

Favorite

By stink

Today, my roommate informed me that he took a bet to not shower or bathe until Christmas. The bet is for five bucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33316

You deserved it

2742

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By metallifreak44 - Canada

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28932

You deserved it

3708

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By JaneDoe - United States - Salisbury

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37574

You deserved it

2765

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By Toloveornottolove - Canada

Today, my boyfriend proposed. I was about to call my parents and tell them we're getting married, but they called me first to announce they're getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15059

You deserved it

1085

Favorite

By Jules - 23/12/2020 11:01 - Germany

Merry Christmas

Today, I'm unemployed and just had to move. My country’s unemployment agency considers that the ideal moment to invite me for a talk about my job search activities is smack dab in the middle of Christmas vacation, while I’m still busy unpacking moving boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

636

You deserved it

140

Favorite

By Anonymous - Ireland - Kilkelly

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28879

You deserved it

1670

Favorite

By oh lord - Canada - Oshawa

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28463

You deserved it

16825

Favorite

By Angelthecat - 6/3/2020 00:01

Now listen here, you lot…

Today, I sent out a Happy Snow Day text to 20 of my closest friends. My boyfriend, who doesn't have an iPhone, didn't realize it was a group text. He sent back a text breaking up with me. To all the people in the group message. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1799

You deserved it

204

Favorite

By confused_cashier - United States - Herndon

Today, while working as a cashier at a fast food restaurant, a customer asked me how many chicken nuggets were in our 6 count chicken nuggets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13191

You deserved it

1432

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By FedExMan - United States

Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41607

You deserved it

2585

Favorite

By heartattack

Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2479

You deserved it

271

Favorite

By Gale - United States

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7851

You deserved it

52750

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By notautistic - United States - Minneapolis

Today, marks yet again another day that I've been asked if I'm autistic. No, that's just my Korean accent. Apparently I look "too white" to have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35592

You deserved it

2723

Favorite

By hawkwardd - Australia

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

I agree, your life sucks

43730

You deserved it

3220

Favorite

By nikkiquila_0699 - Canada

Today, I came back from my 3 month vacation from France. During my vacation I lost 32lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50258

You deserved it

4774

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By Clutz - United States

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11388

You deserved it

35783

Favorite

By Nomoreballs - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25635

You deserved it

6370

Favorite

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Top comments

By Regis Bent | 3

#7963738 - Monday 11 January 2021 23:31

That sucks. Call back the restaurant if you haven't already and tell them what happened, usually you can get a new meal sent over free

By Wadlaen | 19

#7963740 - Monday 11 January 2021 23:48

Oh, that's bad!😮
Also, I'm wondering who pushes the 'You deserved it'-button on FMLs like this?🤔

COMMENTS

By Regis Bent | 3

#7963738 - Monday 11 January 2021 23:31

That sucks. Call back the restaurant if you haven't already and tell them what happened, usually you can get a new meal sent over free

By Wadlaen | 19

#7963740 - Monday 11 January 2021 23:48

Oh, that's bad!😮
Also, I'm wondering who pushes the 'You deserved it'-button on FMLs like this?🤔

tc201002 | 5

#7963752 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 1:20

I’m wondering the same thing

Anemity_is_my_name | 7

#7963937 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 20:36

I do. *laughs maniacally*

By RichardPencil | 29

#7963753 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 1:27

Maybe if you tipped better, they wouldn't try to kill you.

alex_jaguara | 29

#7963806 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 7:36

Ah, Murica. you pay for the service while paying for the same service and employers aren't responsible to pay their workers livable wages.

By sarahcroy20 | 12

#7963773 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 5:56

So take them off.

Nhayaa | 21

#7963784 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 6:37

Tomatoes are juicy so it's too late, it's already all over the other ingredients.

weeping_willow | 25

#7963798 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 7:01

Oh you’re allergic to peanuts but got a pb&j sandwich? Just scrape the peanut butter off!
Stupid

ghostinflames | 11

#7963824 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 8:55

I'd have to agree with weeping willow. Tomatoes leave their mark on the sandwich just like pb or jam. Best give the sandwich to someone who isn't allergic.

Shaunna Burtle | 2

#7963930 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 20:18

the tomatoes have juices that seep into everything....taking them off doesn't even work for someone who just doesn't like the taste, much less someone who is ALLERGIC

Ambrily | 27

#7963931 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 20:18

You sound like an idiot.

By sarahcroy20 | 12

#7963933 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 20:23

ok. I was wrong. You cannot remove the tomatoes because there would still be juice.