Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her...

By beerpong26 - 06/02/2009 19:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 611

You deserved it 6 890

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 651

You deserved it 1 208

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 324

You deserved it 29 275

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 196

You deserved it 5 590

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 860

You deserved it 6 357

Hot revenge

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 00:01

Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 340

By Electro - 11/02/2016 21:51 - United States - Nashua

Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip of your dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 233

You deserved it 7 291

Right in the pecker

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 489

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 623

You deserved it 17 168

What kind of sex are you having?

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 00:00

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 475

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 706

You deserved it 7 410

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 5:56

how electrifying

Bluelake3 0

Monday 23 February 2009 9:14

now THATS passionate.

Comments

stinkybutt 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 16:27

hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA THATS AMAZING.

Gabe__the__babe 0

Monday 4 May 2009 21:38

oh damn! sorry bro, that must of been awful!

Bandit2011 0

Monday 11 May 2009 13:45

Sorry, but hilarious. XD

Mrnub 0

Friday 5 June 2009 0:39

Lol that's hilarious!

KevinB_fml 0

Monday 15 June 2009 2:31

lmao @ 19. I wanna say FYL but... it's just too funny.

xSusannah 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 11:50

omg im sorry that must have hurt but if she walk around doing that on purpose ... epic! haha that made me lol!

zaq857 0

Monday 9 November 2009 22:11

ohhhh dude that must hurt like hell

loveyahun 0

Friday 20 November 2009 0:17

Omgeez

luviegurl 0

Friday 5 February 2010 4:51

haha that blows

nyxierae 1

Saturday 31 March 2012 6:30

I see what you did there

PattisonDaStud 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 1:47

u shouldn't have been alive then dumba**

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 330

You deserved it 48 501

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 304

You deserved it 16 475

Today, I was getting my picture taken with my mom and grandma for a portrait. I said it was going to be beautiful when it was done, with three generations of our family in it. My grandma said that would be true, if I weren't adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 951

You deserved it 1 190

Today, I had to sit and listen to my co-worker moan about how early he has to get up tomorrow to go on his ski holiday in France over Christmas. He also complained about how tiring skiing is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 880

You deserved it 2 430

Today, I was using a wooden toothpick to try to get at some food that was firmly lodged between my teeth. The toothpick broke and now I also have a splinter of wood jammed in there too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 534

You deserved it 3 095

Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 658

You deserved it 1 952