Love: Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked... - FML

By bootyislife - 03/02/2015 04:36 - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 225

You deserved it 4 978

Love

Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Devindelon 17

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:50

So, I'm guessing there was no need for oil.

icedexplosion 19

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:48

Was it sexy?

Comments

icedexplosion 19

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:48

Was it sexy?

_cameronkc_ 17

Tuesday 3 February 2015 15:01

idk bout you guys but that kinda makes me hard ¯_(ツ)_/¯

MetalxSoldier 26

Tuesday 3 February 2015 16:12

She must be giving him the good old Deluxe R. Kelly backrub.

kangx1 28

Wednesday 4 February 2015 5:06

OP I feel you... My girlfriend and I had sex in the cow girl position and as she climaxed she drenched me in urine... I have learnt having sex with a full bladder may intensify it but it's not worth it

FluffyPandas156 13

Wednesday 4 February 2015 7:31

I guess she thought you liked golden showers haha

Dramori 29

Thursday 5 February 2015 10:59

Some guys pay for that!

luverofakatsuki 16

Thursday 5 February 2015 11:03

#93 I doubt it was urine. she probably just gushed all over you. its similar to a squirter. its not actual urine

Gaernem 17

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:17

#111 When females squirt it's the same as urine.

Devindelon 17

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:50

So, I'm guessing there was no need for oil.

EvilLittleGirl 24

Tuesday 3 February 2015 22:58

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

PleaseTickleUs 7

Tuesday 3 February 2015 23:28

is that not what Devquan said

YourOpinionSucks 22

Wednesday 4 February 2015 0:21

It's like one of those moments when you're taking an epic shit, and then you realize it just turned into a shower.

AnalAssassin1 14

Wednesday 4 February 2015 8:21

#75 ... Wtf?

enginsteve 17

Wednesday 4 February 2015 11:32

oh shit! Its anal assassin!

Matteo_xxi 14

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:50

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

ComoEsJuan 24

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:50

Now you just have to take a shower together to get clean. Go with it, man!

KuzzBuzz3 15

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:51

Did you at least say "bless you"?

moliknz 26

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:51

Oh poor girl! I hope she isn't too embarrassed.

WattledParsley 11

Tuesday 3 February 2015 18:46

Love the cat

CDobs 8

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:51

Sounds like urine quite a predicament

waffleeater_153 14

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:51

It could have been poop...

Acacia21 23

Tuesday 3 February 2015 18:34

Are you ready for the funk!?

pugpuggy 21

Wednesday 4 February 2015 17:14

... Because uptown funk gon' give it to yah!

the_fanciest_man 15

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:52

Minor setback if you ask me.

nlow79 3

Tuesday 3 February 2015 14:52

well no need to get all pissy about it. she meant good...

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Break-ups Love Death Doctor Health Relatable Kids Education Vegan ACAB Cops Parents Scary Sex Delivery Cute Embarrassing Amazon Gross Weird Work Customers Toxic Pranks Medication Insomnia Sleep Fight Abuse Public freakouts

The Top

Aujourd'hui, je vais chez mon esthéticienne. Il s'avère que j'ai une pilosité un peu trop importante à mon goût et que, en prime, je suis extrêmement douillette. Mon esthéticienne sort de la cabine et croise une de ses collègues. Elle dit en chuchotant : "Je m'dépêche, j'épile un singe hurlant." VDM

I agree, your life sucks 52 825

You deserved it 5 337

Aujourd'hui, avec mon homme, nous avons des jeux sexuels un peu particuliers. C'est ainsi que je me retrouvais ligotée, bâillonnée dans le coffre de sa Clio, direction son appart. J'y serais sa prisonnière sexuelle pour le week-end. Après 10min de route, il s'arrête. "Contrôle de Police Monsieur, vos papiers svp." VDM

I agree, your life sucks 107 651

You deserved it 28 500

The Top

You can't stay mad at that face for too long!

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 143

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving her boyfriend's nuts. Apparently, he'd snuck in through her window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 015

You deserved it 6 106

Today, I was told I don't qualify for disability benefits because I'm too young. I get this answer each time I apply, no matter how many lawyers and doctors I get. My mobility is so bad I've become wheelchair-bound and need assistance to bathe. How much worse do they want me to get? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 856

You deserved it 178

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164 877

You deserved it 11 580

Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 308

You deserved it 4 816

Today, I got hit on. By a high school kid. Who looks exactly like Napoleon Dynamite. That was the only time anyone has ever hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 839

You deserved it 218