Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized...

By WorstMedicalBill - 20/11/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 176

You deserved it 21 828

Intimacy

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

You coming?

By snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 784

You deserved it 8 861

That'll do it

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 331

You deserved it 9 123

By sneezeattack - 14/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 011

You deserved it 4 303

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 151

You deserved it 7 012

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 885

You deserved it 5 120

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 892

You deserved it 4 490

By thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 164

You deserved it 3 184

Sweet release

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 03:00

Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 800

You deserved it 388

By anonymous - 05/09/2014 16:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 985

You deserved it 3 889

One way or another

By embarrassed - 08/10/2012 09:12 - Australia - Morphett Vale

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 987

You deserved it 6 129

bug56 0

Friday 20 November 2009 20:07

turn face to the left, away from her face/body etc. sneeze continue. Are you braindead?

DynamicDave 11

Friday 20 November 2009 19:59

Haha she got bodily fluids on her in two places at once!

Comments

lifesize_barbie 0

Friday 20 November 2009 19:22

lmao!! this is seriously hilarious!! hahahaha... fyl... hahahaha

austinryansmith 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 14:56

dude I feel sorry for .......HER lol wow

JinxTheMagician 0

Monday 12 April 2010 21:46

turn your head you fukin mong!

Bloxygen 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 5:22

haha I love the word 'mong' but seriously turn ur head

TeagaaanBee 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 14:13

aha sure, you "sneezed" all over her face.. gotcha ;)

christianpulis 17

Saturday 12 April 2014 20:02

Someone's roosterteeth fan

slushmo 0

Friday 20 November 2009 19:33

Hopefully you have a normal relationship where you feel comfortable saying "I have to sneeze" at which point you can just lean next to her and quickly half-sneeze (you know, sort of holding it in with your tongue but letting most of the pressure out) and nothing bad happens. I can't imagine what position you'd be in where you can't aim away from her face.

theshadow013 0

Friday 20 November 2009 19:56

This is hilarious. Had I been the girl I would've giggled after going EWWW!! But it would've been funny, nonetheless.

DynamicDave 11

Friday 20 November 2009 19:59

Haha she got bodily fluids on her in two places at once!

sunsetxcrash 3

Friday 20 November 2009 20:04

That would be an immediate breakup for douchebaggery.

bug56 0

Friday 20 November 2009 20:07

turn face to the left, away from her face/body etc. sneeze continue. Are you braindead?

perdix 29

Friday 20 November 2009 20:10

Tell her she should be glad you didn't sneeze all over her "intimate bits."

GillesDeRais 0

Friday 20 November 2009 20:18

You know, you can turn away and use your upper arm/inner elbow for that sort of thing. I've done the same more than once.

Mortanious 0

Friday 20 November 2009 20:22

Hahahahahaha YDI, and if that ****** up your life, I don't want to hear you cry when she queefs. Geez you're going to cut yourself now?

theshadow013 0

Friday 20 November 2009 20:30

LOL Seriously! And imagine the tragedy if one of them happens to fart during sex. A healthy relationship, you can laugh these things off. After all you're only human :D