Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML
Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML
Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML
Today, my husband picked up and threw a hammer which smashed a hole in the plastic side of the conservatory, that daylight and rain can now get through, all because he “thought” he saw a mouse, which turned out to be one of my fluffy slippers half hidden under a chair. FML
Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML
Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML
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Top comments
skippydoda 32
Why don't you just buy your own damn slippers? YDI for being a cheap thief.
Coachjoost79 14
serves you right!
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Comments (90)
Coachjoost79 14
serves you right!
Queen_bee1234 21
Who are you to judge?
Adm_Twigs 19
well considering he was basically a thief anyone can judge. I would do this too!
Bibliovore 26
#10, "who are you to judge"? Someone on FML who's offered two judgement buttons, up or down, on every. single. post. Judging is kind of encouraged here.
B1ackthesun 31
#10 We have 'I agree, your life sucks' and 'You deserved it' buttons, judging is pretty much the whole point.
colby6666 43
This entire website is based on judging, that's why we have moderation and the voting system on FMLs.
MrConcise 34
This sounds like something straight outta Hasbro.
Jinxsie 27
Ha! What did you think would happen?
skippydoda 32
Why don't you just buy your own damn slippers? YDI for being a cheap thief.
ILikeBigButts_ 12
Cheap thief lol
seriouslygrowup 11
I used to like fml because people would get "you deserved it" for these types of "FML". These days theres just a bunch of "aaaaw shaaame" sympathizers hitting that "your life sucks" button. *sigh*
201chasew 22
You do realize there are more YDI votes than FYl right? FML hasn't really changed that much either.
pooldude 24
well we are still thumbing down stupid posts.... so i dont think FML has changed all that much
onlychildFTW 33
I remember when we couldn't thumb posts and the crappy ones stayed put. The bad days for all but the original commenter.
aliceablaze 16
It's probably time you invested in some slippers of your own
cheeeksss 29
I like your brother's way of thinking.
gearhead369 20
Dumb shit
immaMonsta 8
Sorry OP but you deserve it. Not kind of deserve it, but you full blown deserve it. I'm sure the slippers are at an acceptable price and you can go get your own. Even if they're not, settle for a cheaper pair. Hey, you may even find something even more comfortable than the pair you keep stealing from your brother.
marcmaralou 15
This reminds me of when I was on the baseball team in high school. One player would always steal people's gatorades, so one day one of the guys pissed in a Gatorade bottle and left it out in the open... he actually drank it
MrConcise 34
I wouldn't be surprised if he still thought it was Gatorade.
Jinxsie 27
Did he ever find out it was piss?
1dvos_grl3 21
I think he eventually found out..
pooldude 24
wtf????!?? i drank piss. damnnn that Andrew. i m gnna go get m payback X(
xleanne_aLly 23
Aww ever sick! We need a follow up on this. Did he ever find out? Did you ask him how he didn't notice? Do pee and yellow Gatorade taste the same? Makes you wonder what's in Gatorade.
marcmaralou 15
He noticed immediately and spit it out! I'm almost positive piss doesn't taste anything like Gatorade... (almost)