Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML
Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Did you scream "baby, baby, baby, ooh..."?
cmayer 20
I am so very sorry for your misfortune.
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Comments (250)
rememberkids 14
it does not matter what the situation is, never EVER roleplay Justin beiber! NO! NO! NO! (and BTW, I'm Canadian. I sincerely apologize on behalf of our great nation for unleashing that piece of garbage)
horneyhic 15
As a Canadian I second this post and also appologise for toolface as well
utohspaghettios 10
I hate canada for the fact you spewed jb on the world and also for the rap artist snow....
Kenjikai 5
We thank you for apologizing. Now if you'll help towards the assassination fund we'd appreciate it.
raww77 12
raww77
LissaMccracken 23
How did that work for you? I mean... Justin has a ******?
Chevrille 8
You're really pretty. I love the Used too! never seen them live but have tons of merch. What about you?
sisco2901 20
Subtle? Oh, c'mon!
Phoebe_Buffay 14
Did you pee in a bucket then spit in her face, all while your pants were sagging your knees?
football98_fml 20
shes a lesbian??
sisco2901 20
When I started reading this FML, I thought it would end like one of those "my girlfriend made me do this during sex then had a good laugh how desperate I am" ones... But the thought that THIS could be a turn-on for her... Anyone... Just... ****.
JasonUMN 15
Your supposed to be the one making her sing...
buckdharma 38
If she insists on this again, make her be the monkey. You can kiss her, spit on her, then abandon her at the German border.
laurenlovesjb 20
I get that sometimes it's funny to make jokes but why does it have to be at a teenager's expense? I'm sure there are countless other kids that used to have a higher than average voice, but they didn't grow up in the public eye, so nobody ever criticizes them. I sometimes make the Bieber joke myself, it's not like I think Justin is a god of some sort, I just don't understand the mass hate towards him. He actually is, on the whole, a good person. He visited me in the hospital when I was very sick with cancer. That's when I became a fan. Yes, he makes mistakes. Yes, sometimes he acts like a big jerk. But who doesn't at some point in their lives? That kid goes through so much more than pretty much anybody his age, so how can we expect him to be perfect? Even if all your jokes are all in fun, stop and think: If you were Justin Bieber would you laugh at that? Because if I was him I would probably be kind of hurt if things like that were said about me. Whatever, sorry for the rant, I just felt the need to share the opinion I have a right to posses.