Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML
Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Did you scream "baby, baby, baby, ooh..."?
cmayer 20
I am so very sorry for your misfortune.
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Comments (250)
challan 19
Did she role play Selena Gomez? Seems like a win for you and a loss for her if so...
Sinamoi 18
Maybe, but he would still have to owe up to the fact that he was Justin Bieber.
olpally 33
It's a loss for both of them, bieber counts as a girl and a boy. Selena Gomez is a dumb ass anyways. Haha.
challan 19
Selena is hot... You'd tap that.
olpally 33
She's been with bieber... I don't want that girl next to me ever. I may smack the shit out of her for being so stupid.
tennisstar202 4
This is a bunch of bull shit if she came to you naked and said **** me you would. Can't stand guys that try and front about pussy if you have a functional working dick chances are your going to **** if your not married or with someone.
Sinamoi 18
I recommend an instant brain bleach. Never let yourself mentally relive that moment.
CaptMurdock 25
Allow me to show you where I keep my brain bleach. I need some just from reading that. **oops, #15 beat me to it.
said_aha 7
try bruce springsteen the next time
GrayGoblin 6
It's just a bad case of Bieber Fever. I feel for you, man.
jojimugo 20
I have done way worse to get laid .... Dude tequila helps
alycion 39
Tequila can help us females stomach a lot too.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Or it can lead to some fantastically weird situations... But hey I got to keep the slave Leia outfit... So maybe that didn't end so bad after all :p
edmunson 22
My opinion is he is not old enough for that...poor child!
perdix 31
Doesn't matter, had sex! If it makes your girlfriend hot for you to role play as Baby Bop, Lisa Simpson or Andy Dick, you just man up and do it! One of the cardinal rules of the Man Handbook: The ends justify the means. If you got some, we men give you a thumbs-up regardless of what you had to do to get it.
rememberkids 14
I would imitate Betty boop over that piece of shit from Stratford to get laid!
TheDrifter 24
18 to 80, blind deaf or crazy, take what you can get. I'm still concerned about the legality of some if the things I've done though. It's not public nudity if you're covered in pudding and wearing a fedora is it?
MerrikBarbarian 9
37- depends where you live- here it's legal as long as genitals are covered and nipples not shown. Even body paint and a loin cloth suffices.
josh8215 21
37- The fedora alone causes public indecency I'm afraid. Chocolate pudding however, is acceptable coverage.
KBurns207 17
There's no way my girl could get me to do that. How do you get GUILTED into that lol. Sorry but YDI. At the same time, I agree. Your life sucks. She seems pretty childish.
Phoenixke 16
you must have a lot of guilt...
crisanba 18
Uh I know what you mean just looking at that deformed creature makes my stomach turn