Sex, ACAB and Intimacy: Cut it out

Cut it out

By uhhggggg - 02/01/2010 17:16 - France

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 611

You deserved it 4 348

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Same thing different taste

Get it on

By xomelodygervais - 08/11/2013 14:00 - Canada - Timmins

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 987

You deserved it 6 188

By Stuby14 - 23/11/2015 14:31 - United States - Brookings

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 304

You deserved it 5 787

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 879

You deserved it 5 514

Fantasy world

By whathef???? - 13/02/2010 06:51 - Canada

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 914

You deserved it 7 923

By too good - 24/10/2014 10:54 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 040

You deserved it 14 570

Not into it

By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 06:00

Today, I tried to seduce my long term boyfriend into doing the deed for about an hour. He didn't even put his phone down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 243

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 208

You deserved it 4 277

The best laid plans…

By A drunk walks into a bar and says NO SEX TONIGHT - 22/07/2022 16:00

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 297

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 970

You deserved it 12 729

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 5 452

Ninjaface 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 22:13

Did he give you a ticket for being a buzzkill?

lucky4sum 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:55

Ur fiancé rocks, stop complaining.

Comments

tha69ers 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:10

SWEET MOTHER OF ****. D:

fuzion50 6

Tuesday 23 November 2010 7:45

wow you're so cool cuz u can say you deserved it (you were to lazy to even type it out) and then saying first. you are a ******* toolshed.

ClassyCommando 13

Saturday 14 April 2012 19:15

My God, he's killed the mood! Police brutality!

spitfire35 3

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:14

Get used to it. He is your fiancé.

FUGYU 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 23:02

probably not for long :)

ClassyCommando 13

Saturday 14 April 2012 19:18

37 - Because he enjoyed pretending to be a cop? That's this site for you "OMG dump his ass!!!!".

dangletsbang21 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:16

I think you have a serious problem hahahaha

azurablade 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:31

I like kinky women 

Leahy 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:34

creepy

ChuckDangerz 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:40

fail

clatchy 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 21:05

lolwuuut

HamsteronA 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 21:10

haha made my 2010

skeemo 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 21:48

oh wow what an imagination... most def FYL

Ninjaface 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 22:13

Did he give you a ticket for being a buzzkill?

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 203

You deserved it 7 981

Today, my boss told me I had to fire my co-worker. I didn't want to do it, but I didn't want to lose my job. I told my co-worker that the boss said we had to let him go. He told me that he had sex with my wife. My wife didn't deny it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 161

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I'm her first boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 830

You deserved it 3 276

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 317

You deserved it 2 040

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 322

You deserved it 3 801

Today, my girlfriend, who I thought was the one I’d one day marry, didn’t survive her first time meeting the extended family. My parents loved her, but my grandma, great grandma, aunties, and cousins gave her such a hard time that she ran out in tears, jumped on a bus, then broke up with me via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 205