Love: Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 665

You deserved it 7 324

Love

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Same thing different taste

By Grindyloo - 05/05/2012 10:06

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 391

You deserved it 2 819

Alas, poor Donatello

By randomsamm - 17/10/2019 04:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 218

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 5 341

By hellostupid - 28/03/2013 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 961

You deserved it 4 805

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 753

You deserved it 2 886

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 987

You deserved it 2 087

By Tjop - 15/04/2011 11:50 - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend of 3 and half years broke up with me, just after I fixed-up her house that took me about 3 and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 662

You deserved it 6 023

By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 551

You deserved it 9 483

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Rockville Centre

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 225

By LasagnaRawks - 09/11/2009 10:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 977

You deserved it 3 118

arela 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

give it away give it away give it away now

under_estimated 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

i would just give the turtle away

Comments

dan81892 2

Monday 15 June 2009 23:06

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Remegy 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 3:38

30 years huh? well too bad Andres going to have a little accident...

Enoch134 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 23:53

turtle soup is tasty

llcooljoey 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 7:11

i'll take him (damn you antiflood) (damn you a second time)

devilyy 2

Friday 2 July 2010 3:20

Look who has a new BFF.I bet you're happy as hell :P

rawrkittehpwnage 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 18:42

lol turtles are awesome

ArentICute 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:27

It's time for your turtle to mysteriously disappear.

rawyak 4

Wednesday 21 November 2012 0:57

Mine turtle anybody?

arela 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

give it away give it away give it away now

tweetspie 0

Friday 19 June 2009 8:24

Give it away?? HELL NO, SELL IT!

DynamicDave 11

Wednesday 9 March 2011 13:44

+5 internets for the RHCP reference.

reptileguy1296 0

Monday 29 August 2011 8:32

Herpetological Societies take them.

under_estimated 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

i would just give the turtle away

Kevin_Kestel 24

Wednesday 20 August 2014 4:16

SAVE THE TURTLE

jennam_fml 4

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

So..Give it away. Not exactly a "FML" situation.

WhoopteDo 26

Thursday 25 June 2015 5:31

Except for the whole getting dumped part. But who cares about that? Obviously that is just insult to the injury of getting stuck with a turtle..

Quinklong 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:09

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

mif_fml 27

Wednesday 30 April 2014 19:30

You're sick.

jollyholly414 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:10

I think you should keep it because if you release it into the "wild" it won't survive and giving it away will be a waste of money. Besides, they're cute! :)

Allison_H 0

Monday 19 April 2010 9:43

YOU SUCK. JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR DISPLAY PICTURE. FYL.

ironwords 8

Thursday 7 April 2011 4:45

333 you win the Internet and a weekend with Charlie sheen

beckacloth 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:11

sheesh. you can't just take care of it? feed it once a day and clean the tank once a month? is that really that difficult?

thats_about_rite 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:10

What a great reminder...

EffYoLife 14

Monday 15 June 2009 23:12

leave the turtle on her door step #9 you should do your research before you post. Turtles are very difficult animals to take care of! theyre way harder than a cat or a puppy. so be quiet! yes it rally is that difficult! and u have to clean the tank more than once a month especially if u dont have the right filters. they need lights and large tanks and all kinds of care.

28actress 22

Friday 11 March 2016 16:22

It's definitely not harder than a cat or dog! I have two turtles and you have yo clean the tank once a week but it takes five seconds. Other than that you just feed them once a day. Wayyy less work than my chihuahua or extremely needy cat.