Love: Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 674

You deserved it 7 333

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Same thing different taste

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 5 346

Alas, poor Donatello

By randomsamm - 17/10/2019 04:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 223

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 775

You deserved it 2 890

By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 567

You deserved it 9 488

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 040

You deserved it 2 096

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Rockville Centre

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 366

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 792

You deserved it 5 880

By hellostupid - 28/03/2013 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 4 811

By Anonymous - 03/04/2013 13:32 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 683

You deserved it 6 104

By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 577

You deserved it 4 355

arela 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

give it away give it away give it away now

under_estimated 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

i would just give the turtle away

Comments

dan81892 2

Monday 15 June 2009 23:06

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Remegy 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 3:38

30 years huh? well too bad Andres going to have a little accident...

Enoch134 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 23:53

turtle soup is tasty

llcooljoey 0

Saturday 15 May 2010 7:11

i'll take him (damn you antiflood) (damn you a second time)

devilyy 2

Friday 2 July 2010 3:20

Look who has a new BFF.I bet you're happy as hell :P

rawrkittehpwnage 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 18:42

lol turtles are awesome

ArentICute 0

Thursday 21 July 2011 0:27

It's time for your turtle to mysteriously disappear.

rawyak 4

Wednesday 21 November 2012 0:57

Mine turtle anybody?

arela 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

give it away give it away give it away now

tweetspie 0

Friday 19 June 2009 8:24

Give it away?? HELL NO, SELL IT!

DynamicDave 11

Wednesday 9 March 2011 13:44

+5 internets for the RHCP reference.

reptileguy1296 0

Monday 29 August 2011 8:32

Herpetological Societies take them.

under_estimated 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

i would just give the turtle away

Kevin_Kestel 24

Wednesday 20 August 2014 4:16

SAVE THE TURTLE

jennam_fml 4

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

So..Give it away. Not exactly a "FML" situation.

WhoopteDo 26

Thursday 25 June 2015 5:31

Except for the whole getting dumped part. But who cares about that? Obviously that is just insult to the injury of getting stuck with a turtle..

Quinklong 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:09

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

mif_fml 27

Wednesday 30 April 2014 19:30

You're sick.

jollyholly414 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:10

I think you should keep it because if you release it into the "wild" it won't survive and giving it away will be a waste of money. Besides, they're cute! :)

Allison_H 0

Monday 19 April 2010 9:43

YOU SUCK. JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR DISPLAY PICTURE. FYL.

ironwords 8

Thursday 7 April 2011 4:45

333 you win the Internet and a weekend with Charlie sheen

beckacloth 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:11

sheesh. you can't just take care of it? feed it once a day and clean the tank once a month? is that really that difficult?

thats_about_rite 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:10

What a great reminder...

EffYoLife 14

Monday 15 June 2009 23:12

leave the turtle on her door step #9 you should do your research before you post. Turtles are very difficult animals to take care of! theyre way harder than a cat or a puppy. so be quiet! yes it rally is that difficult! and u have to clean the tank more than once a month especially if u dont have the right filters. they need lights and large tanks and all kinds of care.

28actress 22

Friday 11 March 2016 16:22

It's definitely not harder than a cat or dog! I have two turtles and you have yo clean the tank once a week but it takes five seconds. Other than that you just feed them once a day. Wayyy less work than my chihuahua or extremely needy cat.