By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 722
You deserved it 2 880

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They will always find excuses .. My ex girlfriend broke up with me because marriage was going to be hard for us , we were 16 .. No sense

Count yourself lucky, then. Do you really want to be subjected to that kind of crazy for any longer?

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They will always find excuses .. My ex girlfriend broke up with me because marriage was going to be hard for us , we were 16 .. No sense

friedpwnadge 25

Maybe OP's gf did it because she's a huge bitch who doesn't have the guts to take responsibility for her own actions.

My sophomore year boyfriend dumped me because he saw "Signs of doom" in his poop.. People are so weird.

Murilirum 23

Be thankful you no longer have to deal with that #13. I don't even know how to comprehend someone telling me that for ANY reason whatsoever let alone a breakup.

#29, it was so weird. He sent a photo and everything. But i agree. Im glad it didn't go any further.

But one day u will think about it and will be happy that it ended like that , didint go any farther that what I feel now .

So, you were dumped because of a dump 13.... Makes sense.

So he's one of those poop enthusiasts? Never understood the people who take pictures of their shit and get excited about how it looks, must be from the positive reinforcement of potty training.

I've never been told a legitimate excuse when I've been dumped. Maybe I should stop dating inconsiderate, crazy, dumb girls. I'm moving on from the minor leagues!

#1 that could be a FML actually

I remember voting for something like this on the moderation page, #94

#92 - I looked at your picture, saw your shadow with the afro, was gonna ask if you had one, remembered your username.

My first boyfriend broke up with me because he thought I was cheating on him, I wasn't, but he'd been cheating on me for a few months. Not only that but he was cheating on me with my best friend..

Sounds like he was full of crap...otherwise how would he know about Signs of Doom?

She may have found her calling as an animal psychic.

Shes an animal psychotic*

She could be the next Dr. Dolittle, or her dog just happens to be Wilfred.

psychopolarbear 28

If my dog told me to dump a guy, I'd take her advice XD I mean, let's be honest, my bitch would never do anything she didn't think would be beneficial to me…well, other than eating my pillow or peeing on the carpet >.> In all seriousness, I'm sorry for you, bud. Good luck finding a woman who isn't crazy haha

Well..... Shite!

Makes you question the phrase "Man's best friend".

Eyalsh 32

well, he got him to get rid of a crazy girlfriend! if that's not a friend, idk who is.

Count yourself lucky, then. Do you really want to be subjected to that kind of crazy for any longer?

mds9986 24

What if dogs talk when humans aren't around and OPs girlfriend is the first person they are interacting with? I bet you never considered that.

Eyalsh 32

yeah, let's also start treating dr.dolittle as a documentary :D

AurumPotestasEst 16

She sounds like the Son of Sam...

xsmith 6

Is that really a lose then?

I guess old dogs can learn new tricks

Maybe he did, where's the proof he didn't.

Xandrick 22

Where's the proof he did?

That's like asking for proof of God, you can't disprove it because it's all in their head, but at the same time you don't need to, because it's not hard to tell it's a crock of shit if you think about it.

Sounds like you got off easy. I know its sad but now you can find someone slightly less crazy and who likes you. Give it time dear.

dragoongirl90 34

Just be happy that you're free of the nut job.

All the excuses under the sun and she has to use her dog. What a bitch move.

Nice pun. Shame others didn't see it, or didn't find it funny.