FML : Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why...

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Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By WTF - / Wednesday 16 January 2013 07:52 /

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Top comments

By DooleyFTW | 17

#5326769 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:07

She obviously hasn't been exposing them to enough radioactive waste!

By Pleonasm | 31

#5326770 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:07

Yea, I found out the other day that I am infertile. I bought a pet chimpanzee and raised him and everything, and WTF? He isn't turning into a human?? Like how is this possible? I though people came from apes? Anyway this isn't Grow Your Own T-Rex. I bet the salesman just told her that iguanas turned into Dinosaurs to seal the deal on that 500 metre squared terrarium that the shop couldn't get rid of.

Comments

By DooleyFTW | 17

#5326769 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:07

She obviously hasn't been exposing them to enough radioactive waste!

a1f0sff | 22

#5326810 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:23

Or rather she's been the one overexposed to radioactive waste making her having different thoughts.

Bigger_than_Jesu | 5

#5326835 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:39

Ruuuuuuun, it's Godzilla!

TML329 | 14

#5326944 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 06:28

No it's because she haven't trained it enough for it to evolve yet

Tristyxxx | 24

#5326949 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 06:34

i wonder what sales person told her this

NigerianMedicine | 11

#5327111 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 08:37

(Mouth keeps moving afterwards)

TorturedXeno | 27

#5327427 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 11:58

Tell her to get a bird. Birds are technically dinosaurs.

CzechIsBack | 15

#5329411 - Friday 18 January 2013 01:14

It's an honest mistake. I remember forgetting the radioactive waste once. Oh, the humble beginnings of my dinosaur farm...

By Pleonasm | 31

#5326770 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:07

XxDevilxXGt | 26

#5326792 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:16

No I had already bought that to store my one pet platypus.

Pleonasm | 31

#5326801 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:17

I bet the Bill for that thing was pretty big ;)

XxDevilxXGt | 26

#5326812 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:24

Yeah that platypus cost me a fortune. Oh.. The terrarium too.

ptoka | 15

#5326887 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 05:29

Hmm, platypus egg omelet anyone?

Enslaved | 36

#5326894 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 05:36

Perhaps if you breed the OP's GF's lizard and your platypus, their hybrid dinosaur baby will be a lickalotofpus. The perfect pet for the ladies! (:

Pleonasm | 31

#5326906 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 05:44

you saw the "pus" and you couldn't help yourself, could you, enslaved? ;)

Enslaved | 36

#5326910 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 05:52

GUILTY! :) And also guilty of wanting that pet!!

Pleonasm | 31

#5326918 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 05:57

Didn't know you wanted a lizard/platypus hybrid to go down on you so bad!

UsernameHere234 | 13

#5326920 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 05:57

HOT!!!! Mind if I watch?

ptoka | 15

#5326923 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 06:02

Cats have odd fetishes

Enslaved | 36

#5326924 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 06:06

Who said anything about the hybrid going down on me? I just want to pet a pet. Damn! Now "pet, jet, set, get, let, net, vet" words are all dancing in my mind! :P

gc327072 | 29

#5326928 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 06:10

Reptiliality?

Nekogami | 14

#5327187 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 09:41

Enslaved........ Lol. You're so reliable.

l23VIVE | 17

#5337703 - Thursday 24 January 2013 12:26

humans and apes have a common ancestor

By WatsonIsThatDood | 6

#5326772 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:08

Quick!!!! Consult the wizard!!!

By XxDevilxXGt | 26

#5326774 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:09

Hey I would be crying too if they gave me fake dinosaurs. Riding aroud on my Bronchosaurous(sp?).

DocBastard | 38

#5326817 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:26

I think the word you're looking for is brontosaurus. Unfortunately, that dinosaur no longer exists. It's been called apatosaurus for years.

XxDevilxXGt | 26

#5326824 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:31

Yeah I butchered its old name, thanks.

mistercrow | 9

#5326851 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:46

How bout a Megasauras ;p

Pleonasm | 31

#5326858 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:50

Don't know about you guys, but I was always scared of the plesiosaurus. You thought swimming in the sea after watching Jaws was scary? Imagine having that thing in the ocean... *pees self*

I_iz_B_a_troll | 23

#5326872 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 05:09

I always wanted a pet compsognathus. They may be small, but you take a chicken, combine a lizard and a wallaby with the teeth of a shark and you've got one bad-ass little killer. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting on my bearded dragon to turn into a real dragon; I've no clue why the wings haven't sprouted yet!

Enslaved | 36

#5326898 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 05:41

Only "Puff the Magic Dragon" will help you see those spouting wings. :P

poccocurantes | 7

#5326908 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 05:50

And people are worried about dog owners. My advise; if you get a dinosaur don't just leave them chained up in the back yard. They need to be socialized or they get mean.

Trinity1836 | 7

#5327040 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 07:29

hey 41, good luck grooming his beard once he hits puberty or gets sick. you'll have to duck everytime he sneezes

ViviMage | 32

#5327092 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 08:20

It must have coughed a lot!

By kurodansei | 15

#5326775 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:10

Tell her to give a little more land before time. Also you'll be the best boyfriend ever if you discreetly switch her lizards with kamodo dragons(good luck with that)

MelTheGreat | 23

#5326831 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:36

Nice thinking. She could also walk them at Jurassic Park so they get plenty of exercise, allowing them to grow to their full potential.

By strawberrywine22 | 27

#5326780 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:11

Take her lizards back to the pet store, go to the dollar store and get two of those foam dinosaurs that grow when you put them in water. Grow them to full-size, put them in the lizard tank, and voila!

By Psycho_Babydoll | 26

#5326782 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:12

Poor girl... know how you should cheer her up? Exchange all those lizards for mice, everyone knows they grow into kangaroos!

By rezho | 5

#5326784 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:12

Go to the pet store and demand a refund. Might as well take this all the way.

By DocBastard | 38

#5326787 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 04:14

You should tell her she just isn't feeding her pre-dinosaurs the wrong foods. She needs to give them ground up unicorn horns, sprinkled with fairy dust, mixed with Loch Ness Monster tail. Give it that concoction, and POOF! Instant velociraptor. If she actually starts shopping around for those ingredients, run. Just run.