Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
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By
DooleyFTW
| 17
She obviously hasn't been exposing them to enough radioactive waste!
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a1f0sff
| 25
Or rather she's been the one overexposed to radioactive waste making her having different thoughts.
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Bigger_than_Jesu
| 5
Ruuuuuuun, it's Godzilla!
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TML329
| 14
No it's because she haven't trained it enough for it to evolve yet
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Tristyxxx
| 24
i wonder what sales person told her this
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NigerianMedicine
| 11
(Mouth keeps moving afterwards)
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TorturedXeno
| 27
Tell her to get a bird. Birds are technically dinosaurs.
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CzechIsBack
| 15
It's an honest mistake. I remember forgetting the radioactive waste once. Oh, the humble beginnings of my dinosaur farm...
By
Pleonasm
| 34
Yea, I found out the other day that I am infertile.
I bought a pet chimpanzee and raised him and everything, and WTF? He isn't turning into a human??
Like how is this possible? I though people came from apes?
Anyway this isn't Grow Your Own T-Rex. I bet the salesman just told her that iguanas turned into Dinosaurs to seal the deal on that 500 metre squared terrarium that the shop couldn't get rid of.
I bought a pet chimpanzee and raised him and everything, and WTF? He isn't turning into a human??
Like how is this possible? I though people came from apes?
Anyway this isn't Grow Your Own T-Rex. I bet the salesman just told her that iguanas turned into Dinosaurs to seal the deal on that 500 metre squared terrarium that the shop couldn't get rid of.
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XxDevilxXGt
| 26
No I had already bought that to store my one pet platypus.
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Pleonasm
| 34
I bet the Bill for that thing was pretty big ;)
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XxDevilxXGt
| 26
Yeah that platypus cost me a fortune. Oh.. The terrarium too.
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ptoka
| 20
Hmm, platypus egg omelet anyone?
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Enslaved
| 36
Perhaps if you breed the OP's GF's lizard and your platypus, their hybrid dinosaur baby will be a lickalotofpus. The perfect pet for the ladies! (:
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Pleonasm
| 34
you saw the "pus" and you couldn't help yourself, could you, enslaved? ;)
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Enslaved
| 36
GUILTY! :)
And also guilty of wanting that pet!!
And also guilty of wanting that pet!!
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Pleonasm
| 34
Didn't know you wanted a lizard/platypus hybrid to go down on you so bad!
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UsernameHere234
| 13
HOT!!!! Mind if I watch?
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ptoka
| 20
Cats have odd fetishes
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Enslaved
| 36
Who said anything about the hybrid going down on me? I just want to pet a pet.
Damn! Now "pet, jet, set, get, let, net, vet" words are all dancing in my mind! :P
Damn! Now "pet, jet, set, get, let, net, vet" words are all dancing in my mind! :P
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gc327072
| 29
Reptiliality?
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Nekogami
| 14
Enslaved........ Lol. You're so reliable.
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l23VIVE
| 17
humans and apes have a common ancestor
By
WatsonIsThatDood
| 6
Quick!!!! Consult the wizard!!!
By
XxDevilxXGt
| 26
Hey I would be crying too if they gave me fake dinosaurs. Riding aroud on my Bronchosaurous(sp?).
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DocBastard
| 38
I think the word you're looking for is brontosaurus. Unfortunately, that dinosaur no longer exists. It's been called apatosaurus for years.
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XxDevilxXGt
| 26
Yeah I butchered its old name, thanks.
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mistercrow
| 9
How bout a Megasauras ;p
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Pleonasm
| 34
Don't know about you guys, but I was always scared of the plesiosaurus.
You thought swimming in the sea after watching Jaws was scary? Imagine having that thing in the ocean...
*pees self*
You thought swimming in the sea after watching Jaws was scary? Imagine having that thing in the ocean...
*pees self*
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I_iz_B_a_troll
| 23
I always wanted a pet compsognathus. They may be small, but you take a chicken, combine a lizard and a wallaby with the teeth of a shark and you've got one bad-ass little killer.
Meanwhile, I'm still waiting on my bearded dragon to turn into a real dragon; I've no clue why the wings haven't sprouted yet!
Meanwhile, I'm still waiting on my bearded dragon to turn into a real dragon; I've no clue why the wings haven't sprouted yet!
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Enslaved
| 36
Only "Puff the Magic Dragon" will help you see those spouting wings. :P
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poccocurantes
| 7
And people are worried about dog owners. My advise; if you get a dinosaur don't just leave them chained up in the back yard. They need to be socialized or they get mean.
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Trinity1836
| 11
hey 41, good luck grooming his beard once he hits puberty or gets sick. you'll have to duck everytime he sneezes
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ViviMage
| 38
It must have coughed a lot!
By
kurodansei
| 16
Tell her to give a little more land before time. Also you'll be the best boyfriend ever if you discreetly switch her lizards with kamodo dragons(good luck with that)
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MelTheGreat
| 23
Nice thinking. She could also walk them at Jurassic Park so they get plenty of exercise, allowing them to grow to their full potential.
By
strawberrywine22
| 27
Take her lizards back to the pet store, go to the dollar store and get two of those foam dinosaurs that grow when you put them in water. Grow them to full-size, put them in the lizard tank, and voila!
By
Psycho_Babydoll
| 26
Poor girl... know how you should cheer her up? Exchange all those lizards for mice, everyone knows they grow into kangaroos!
By
rezho
| 5
Go to the pet store and demand a refund. Might as well take this all the way.
By
DocBastard
| 38
You should tell her she just isn't feeding her pre-dinosaurs the wrong foods. She needs to give them ground up unicorn horns, sprinkled with fairy dust, mixed with Loch Ness Monster tail. Give it that concoction, and POOF! Instant velociraptor.
If she actually starts shopping around for those ingredients, run. Just run.
If she actually starts shopping around for those ingredients, run. Just run.
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Trinity1836
| 11
Don't they sells those in the flea market? Or is it in Chinatown?
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bfsd42
| 20
She isn't feeding them the wrong foods. Doesn't that mean she is feeding them the right foods?
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sens3sfailing
| 24
doc makes typos too. hes human. ~scary thought. I know~
By
HowieDoIt
| 21
She sounds stupid, I figured out the secret years ago, which also happens to be the secret ingredient in the krabby patty.
I bought a pet chimpanzee and raised him and everything, and WTF? He isn't turning into a human??
Like how is this possible? I though people came from apes?
Anyway this isn't Grow Your Own T-Rex. I bet the salesman just told her that iguanas turned into Dinosaurs to seal the deal on that 500 metre squared terrarium that the shop couldn't get rid of.