Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
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Top comments
ActionManly 11
That zit made her bit of a tit, and she had no wit, and your no longer with it, so be thankful for it :)
Quest_ 13
You pointed it out because you genuinely didn't believe she was already aware of it? You suck.
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Comments (170)
a_peyton 3
Sounds like true love to me..
LOLomgWTF 0
haha pussy! my bf has noticed my nose hair, pimples, and my tiny bit of blubber on my tummy that he calls "tubby muffin" haha and I still love him.
paper_tigers 0
1) How much proof-reading do you do before posting? I'm sure you do some... From what it looks like you do alot. Seeing as how you are an english writing nazi, people probably want to see you fall (in more ways than one) 2) How much time do you waste on FML daily?
fisheatsbear 6
#68 past her bedtime? it's like 815 in the morning
DutchCourage 0
How old are you? 12?
Bagel09 11
snickerdoodles for some reason I want to punch you in the face....O yeah it's because you have a dick up you're ass and never have anything nice to say.
thrice324 0
I definately second this motion.
eniiwa 0
garuru has obviously never been introduced to the opposite sex before.
sarcdude 3
He didn't necessarily need to point it out as she'd know, but on the other side that's not even remotely dump-worthy. shrug it off OP.
corme_fml 0
Yes because a kind and thoughtful boyfriend would surely let his oversensitive girlfriend walk out in public to get embaressed. OP, next time you notice crumbs in her hair, food in her teeth, booger hanging out, shirt flipped out or anything else that might be embaressing.... keep it to yourself/ sarcasticccc
lilianas_mami 0
she's annoying