I had my first sex at 13. Being 28 now and knowing that I still haven't pro-created yet that means good sex-ed if your best friend.

I agree...I had sex for the first time when I was 14, now I'm 22 and I've never gotten pregnant "by accident" either...and not on purpose either...and I don't plan to for the next 5 years as well... And all the people screaming for abstinence-only sex-ed should check out the numbers in this article, yea it may be from 2001, but I'm sure things haven't changed so drastically that it's all wrong... The US could learn a lot from sex-ed in other countries, because obviously it seems to work better than what they're doing right now... http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=419&Itemid=336

Same here :-) No pregnancies, no STDs, no regrets for having sex with an inadequate person. My mom never said that "wait till marriage", in fact she told me I should live with the person I love for some years before I get married so I won't get surprises later.

Teaching abstinence ONLY doesn't work. Abstinence is still taught in schools, but teaching ONLY abstinence and not going into birth control methods, STDs, sexually responsible behavior, etc. gets people in trouble. But really...having premarital sex is stooping low? Come on. That's just condescending and rude to those that don't share your beliefs.

Yaaay thank you #30. What exactly is wrong with abstinence till marriage education? Worked on me! (Well, I'm not married yet but I'm not planning on premarital sex). I mean I guess teaching kids about STDs and such shows that sex isn't all pretty, and I don't see anything *wrong* with teaching them about birth control but why is it necessary? If you successfully teach the abstinence message then why would they need to know about birth control methods in high school?

Well if people didnt have premarital sex, we would need to worry about the AIDS epidemic that is killing hundreds of thousands of people in Africa.

Because if you don't teach them then, when they are in a structured environment, they will never know where, when, or how to find these things on their own. That said, I'm a 17 year old who's never done anything with anyone, even though my teacher does not teach abstinence-only. She focuses on teaching us about the consequences, control methods, and says that you should be aware of what will happen, should you partake in certain actions.

It's necessary because your philosophy is not what everyone believes. And think about it...do you really want kids that are capable of having sex and procreating to have no knowledge of birth control?

Is that why states that teach abstinence only have the highest STD and teen pregnancy rates? You need to pull your head out of your ass if you think that abstinence only sex-ed is doing any good.

Wow. You're a ******* ignoramus. So AIDS was created by people having sex before marriage? It didn't exist before then? HIV comes from SIV, which was given to us by apes.

Luckily for society, not everyone is a loser like you.

While that's true hypothetically, I don't think it's at all realistic to expect millions of people to adhere to an absinent lifestyle, even if they say they do. Think about a couple of hundred years back; sex before marriage was hugely taboo in most societies, yet STDs were rife. Why? Because few people practised it in reality - for example, many men would have slept with prostitutes before their wives. There's nothing wrong with individuals choosing to abstain, but to preach that lifestyle as the only option and to expect everyone to be able to follow through, with no education whatsoever about SAFE sex and contraception, is naive and dangerous.

I've done SEVERAL reports on abstinence-only versus comprehensive sex education and comprehensive with emphasis on abstinence is far more effective. The US is one of the few countries still trying to rely primarily on abstinence-only and our pregnancy rates and STD rates in teens are much higher than those of other countries. Teaching abstinence is good, but kids need to know about contraceptive options in case they aren't going to remain abstinent.

The problem with abstinence only education is that it's bullshit. It doesn't educate, it forbids, and teenagers are world leaders in doing what's forbidden.

@30 & 68- You may have taken abstinence only sex-ed classes, but I highly doubt they are the reason you decided to remain abstinent. Honestly, are you abstaining to avoid STDs, etc. or because of a religious or moral belief? Many teens don't feel the same way and don't want to make that commitment. Education would allow them info. about their options.

Agreed this is the best advice ive seen on here!Showing her all the risks involved with sex will definitly let her see past the excitement and should buy you some time..

I respect your views but why do you want to wait until you're married? Is this because of your religious beliefs or do you want to save yourself for "the special one"? Do you honestly thing there will be only one "special one"? Because honestly, I have almost everytime I had a good relationship thought that she would be "the one".

Argh, don't know why I misspell 'think' all the time today :-(

I'm not the OP, but who says there isn't a "special one"? The "special one" is the person that you are emotionally committed to enough to want to spend the rest of your life with them, and most couples confirm that commitment through marriage. That emotional commitment is what I'm waiting for before I commit myself physically. :)

It's a combination of both (religion and "special one") actually. I've seen my friends date guys that the feel are "the one" and end up really hurt when they realize he wasn't after having put a lot of their heart into the relationship too. They feel something new and special with each new guy, but I hate seeing the hurt they've been through after. (the sex has a lot to do with it as well) I know it will truely be the "special one" once I have that security of marriage. The real "one" will be willing to commit to marriage, I guess it's my personal way of being sure. Many may argue, well hurt is inevitable you can't avoid that, and I'm aware. I plan on being in other relationships to see what works. However, the main cause of hurt I've seen with my friends is due to the sex, so I'm going to avoid at least that aspect of it. And above all, I am just not ready mentally.

You're very mature for 15. It's great to see someone on here express their views in such a polite, honest and respectful way. Good on you!

So not only are you going to get hurt, you're going to make it cost you as well. Divorces are very common and very costly, you know.

Love exists, and I firmly believe I won't be getting married unless I've found it. I hope you find love too.

Being willing to commit does unfortunately not make anyone 'the one'. Truth is that marriage takes work to succeed, and both parts need to be willing to work on it, to compromise, to give and to take. Even if you don't want the sex part before it, you might want to consider living with the person you think is the one for a good while, to find out if you can live with them in the long run, to find out if they are compatible. As for sex though... are you willing to accept what your future 'one' might enjoy or not enjoy? Are you sure the one will accept whatever (lack of) fetishes or kinks you might have?

I think you misunderstood what I meant by "the one being willing to commit" ofcourse that's not the only attribute I'd look for to determine if someone is my "one". I've never been in love so I can't speak with much experience or wisdom; however, I'm aware marriage will take a lot of work. As for accepting my husband's sexual preferences (and mine), if the love is there sex will only enhance it. By that, I mean I would be willing to accept and he would reciprocate. As for living together before marriage, I don't think I mentioned my thoughts about that, if the right conditions exist I think it would be a great oppurtunity to learn more about how life would be with that potential life partner. My main point of all this is the factor that real love exists in the marriage I have in mind, a lot of you may argue that I may not really be in love, marry, and end up hurt blah blah blah. Let me handle that, I'm sure once the time comes I'll be able to distinguish whether or not I'm in love. I respect your thoughts, and you share valid points for me to consider. Once again, I do not look down upon sex before marriage-- I love and support my friends who have. Knowing my emotions and sensitivity, it would not be a wise choice for me personally to make.

Then I have no quarrel with you, whatsoever, Megatron-sike. Best of luck in your life, you sound like you got it figured!

Everything she said. Like, a lot.

Plus as we have seen,most marriages last an average of 5yrs before they start going downhill. So,um would that be one or multiple committed relationships?

MegatronSIKE- I agree with you wholeheartedly. You are a very smart girl, and you seem to have your ideals and standards perfectly in check. I hope it all works out well for you. :)

You are very mature and I respect you a lot even though I strongly believe that abstinence until marriage is probably usually a bad idea. I respect you so much because you respect others and you acknowledge that there are always two sides to every argument and that there are always exceptions and "what-ifs" and the possibility that one decision can be right in one situation and another decision can be right in another. What works for one person may not work for another person. You are a real sweetie. Much love. :)

MegatronSIKE - I'm glad you've thought things through. It's good to see someone who has thought through their decisions, whatever, they may be. I think you'll be able to come to some great compromises in your future relationships!