Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

By TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 260
You deserved it 7 876

Same thing different taste

Top comments

kut17 11

Unless her name is Jesus, she is not the brightest star in the sky.

If or some reason, I don't think she's been taught the birds and the bees yet...


kut17 11

Unless her name is Jesus, she is not the brightest star in the sky.

kut17 11

Normally, I would agree with you. However, I've lost a lot of hope for many people of my generation. Is she crazy loopy? Yes. Is that so out of the ordinary anymore? Sadly, no.

#45, that's how the Australians spell 'civilisation'.

And the British... Pretty much every English speaking country other than America...

Thank you, Webster, for changing all those words and dooming Americans to spelling superiority complexes.

Run OP... You'll start a new family; just run as fast as you can.

We all know there has been mental defects in each generation. Take Hitler, for example.

57, thread jacking = hey look at me! I'm too awesome to start a new comment way down the list! Hey! Hey! Look at me everyone! I'm repeating what other people said so I will comment on a top post so people read mine first!

64, sort of like your comment... Great now we are talking about jacking...

Once a thread has been jacked its fair game.

Inheritance 10

So OPs daughter didn't catch on that she wouldn't be alive if her mom didn't have sex..? What has this world come too..

Godwin's Law, 45. Well, at least this isn't quite as bad as the twelve year old "Beat ya!" FML. I think (hope) that the daughter was thinking "Reinstated virgin."

79-thank you sooooo much for explaining to me the very thing that made this FML funny, I never would have gotten it without you! -.-

Why do you assume she was being stupid? More likely she was being a smartass.

-64 well first of all, I saw no one else with a comment like that. Secondly, some comments I post are from the phone app, and I only just now learned how to post comments to the fml itself intsead of only replies from my phone. (I'm new to fml, and i realize that does not exclude me from the proper "fml etiquette". I will go ahead and be the first to thumb this particular comment down.)

Chibitalia180 6

79 - There's something called adopting...

Everyone complaining about this generation. You're probably the generation that raised this generation.

Epsilonyx 15

Marry's not a virgin Jesus had Younger brothers, and who could have a Healy relationship without sex. Also she was 12 when she had Jesus.

I was half asleep writing that, my sister stole my iPod, nope, I was ignorant, my apologies.

I find it funny that you spelled civilization wrong.

tandem123 6

152- didn't we just go over this?

Suaria 38

Says the one who can't spell civilization correctly. I have no hope for my generation.

If or some reason, I don't think she's been taught the birds and the bees yet...

zero91 4

im over twenty and im did not learn anything about birds and bees

You clearly didn't learn anything about grammar, either...

zero91 4

^ dont haf to use proper words and sentences on the internet

78- You do if you want to be taken seriously... and avoid looking like a total jackass.

zero91 4

^ how is short forms make me look like a jackass?

Zero91- You were either never taught proper grammar or English is not your first language. Regardless, it's not entirely your fault.

Right, blame the teachers, because everything in this world is their fault. It's not like they try and teach and you don't listen, right? No, that's can't be true, because that would be insinuating that you don't care about education, when its obvious you do. Also, you are obviously NOT over twenty if you haven't been exposed to sex in today's SOCIETY.

stuner56 22

The daughter could have been adopted, therefor meaning no sex had been involved

Why are girls so dumb? I am pretty sure everyone who is a teenager should know where babies come from. Also, why did she ask her mom that? Was she thinking of losing hers soon or did she already lose her virginity and was wondering if she lost her virginity before her mom?

103- why are some* girls so dumb. Fixed it for ya to sound less sexist. Have a nice day!

Oh come on, all the good comments were moderated? Including mine? ******* asshats.

94- "I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin." Although it's possible, I don't think OP's daughter was adopted.

iOceanus 18

153 - You make a good point. Other than that, if she's old enough to know what 'getting laid' means, then she should know that that's how babies are made. No matter which way you cut it, she sounds a bit uneducated on the matter.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Number 8, when does the narwhal bacon?? Hehe :3

Technically she COULD still be a virgin...if her husband ejaculated over her and somehow got inside her ******...very small chance, but still possible!

Or she could feasibly be adopted, not that I think that it not her birth mother

kittycat1597 10

8- midnight! Original comment- she could be adopted

Oh! That's why it was an FML! Because her daughter was a nuthead! Not because her daughter dissed her for not having sex! Now i get it. Thanks for explaining that. -.-''

I appreciate the time you put into this well thought out comment.

Lol what a dumbass no offense to your child. I think it's time you told her where babies come from...

Someone clearly has not been paying attention in Sex Ed

And it's crazy that some parents want to take away sex Ed

Really? In Michigan it starts in 8th grade.

ee13lbp 4

I've never been taught sex Ed... Not that I need it

pepper477 6

In Michigan for me, it started in fifth grade

insertnameherr 11

I never had sex Ed, and I turned out fine! (eye twitch)

I live in Western New York and sex Ed is taught here at either tenth or eleventh grade

OhDearBetrayal 25

In good ol Minnesota we're taught the good stuff in third grade.

that_guy666 3

just like any other sexual story, this would sound like a beginning of a porno.

Um, how does this sound like the beginning of a porno? What kind of sicko are you?

If it was a porno it would either be....let's just say "a family affair" or the daughter watching her mother ride some dude. Either way, gross. No. Go crawl back under the rock your comment came out from under.

ee13lbp 4

Mom-daughter **** perhaps? Sick yes, but plausible.

Don't worry about it OP, some people just take things a little too seriously; every time someone asks me if I "got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning" I end up contemplating the philosophy of the "right side of the bed" for hours....


You heard her. Get laid. I'm sure you just sat in a wet spot and got pregnant. Yeah, that's it, a wet spot... That's your story. Rehearse it a thousand times in your head until you know it by heart, then rehearse it a thousand more times. Good luck.

You raised her. Maybe you need to have the 'talk' with her...a few years ago.

rein 8

The level of stupidness on this one is just too damn high!

*stupidity.... This comment just contradicts itself.