By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 633
You deserved it 4 906

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Is he ******* crazy? What the hell is wrong with him? He's going about this all wrong. That's way too direct. The correct thing to say is, "I have a rusty scalpel, plenty of lidocaine, and an intimate knowledge of male anatomy. Have a nice time tonight."


Yes he stabbed OP's just wasn't important enough to be an FML >_>

AntiPrude 26

Don't **** with Daddy. **** with his daughter instead.

^33 - And then get stabbed by Daddy when he catches you screwing around with his daughter.

#33- yeah you **** with the daughter daddys gonna **** you UP

AntiPrude 26

The trick, 36, is not getting caught. Which I assure you isnt that hard.

Don't dads realize that if they act like a dick to the boyfriends then some won't mind ******* over their daughters on purpose just to get even?

Honestly I will be doing the same thing with my daughter one day I don't blame him one bit

I don't understand that attitude one bit. I'd let my potential future daughter make her own decisions and do my best to make sure she's smart enough to do so.

squideth 18

It's because we women are delicate pathetic flowers that need man to protect us! Not. My dad never pulled this shit because he respects me as a human being. He is always there for me and I'm grateful he's not a possessive ass.

My father always says he would kill any man who hurts me. And by hurt I mean phisically. I think it's cute, he wouldn't really kill the man in question, but he would help me if I needed him. I think that's what OP's father meant. At least I hope so.

JAB9989 13

Remind me to stay about as far away from your father as possible

She should be grateful her dad has a vested interest in her life

Maybe your dad should take up fencing, it's fun and you get to stab people!

Then that's when OP's dad gets the idea that fencing should be with machetes and invites the boyfriend over.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Stabbing someone isn't really like people talk it up to be. It's just an "Oh shit!" kind of feeling. Just make sure you do it with something real badass, you don't want to be known as the guy who stabbed someone with a fruit peeler. I preformed my first stabbing with a katana.

What a coincidence! I first got stabbed with a katana.... well, it was my first time getting stabbed with a sword. It was about my 19th stab in total, though.

That would have made for a great reply from the boyfriend, "Well if you've always wondered that you should come to my class, I teach sword fighting, I have a 4th level black belt."

AnOriginalName 19

#41, are you sure you stabbed someone? Your profile picture makes it seem as though you're a Storm Trooper, and I think we all know how renowned your kind are for your accuracy.

ViRepz 28

Haha your dad sounds hilarious.

cheshirecat13242 32

I'd always wondered that too--as an overprotective dad..

Oh, Iv only wondered as a ... Perfectly normal teenage boy... Who happens to watch shows about serial killers...

I've always wondered why people bring a knife to a gun fight.

kyu_Q 19

I might do something like this when my daughters get older. I think all boyfriends should have a healthy fear of the father.

I'm not sure of the fear of getting stabbed is healthy

No, it's perfectly healthy I often Fear mí abuela is going to stab me in the kitchen.

Guys who do this are completely pathetic and undisciplined. There's nothing healthy about it. It's just a primitive reflex to establish your alpha-male position.

Rainhawk94 27

More like it's a man putting the fear of God into a guy who will be involved with his child and wants him to know what will happen if he screws up.

Said this below, will repeat it here. Just because your daughter is special to you, doesn't give you the right to threaten to stab other people who have done nothing wrong. I get it, you care about your daughter, but that doesn't mean some guy who dares to date her should have to pay for that. Having a daughter doesn't give you a licence to threaten people with a knife. Maybe I have a son, and if someone pointed a knife at my son I would meet this person and point a gun in their face - reasonable?

To all the people who think this is a great idea - what do you actually want to achieve? Scaring your daughter's boyfriend or protecting your daughter? Because they're not always the same tthing. I can't speak for everyone but when I first started seeing a guy I was terrified of how my dad might react. It did not lead to me cautiously warning my boyfriend, it led to me dating him in secret for 6 months. When my parents thought I was with friends, I was actually taking trains 1.5 hours away. I even lost my virginity before they knew I'd kissed anyone, let alone had a 'sex talk'. That is A LOT more dangerous than just being respectful and having a good relationship with both daughter and boyfriend. I did it because I trusted my boyfriend and myself. Fortunately I was right and we're still together 4 years later, however, I know I was lucky and it could have gone horribly wrong a la him being a crazy person, me getting stranded in the middle of nowhere, etc.

Not fear. Healthy respect, yes. Fear, no. If he's willing to behave maturely with my daughter, then that's fine.

martin8337 35

Sounds like some kind of scare tactic to me, this man is crazy.

Not really crazy, I mean he could have whipped out a pocket fan...

And then said "HAH JUST KIDDING" and taken out a katana.

And then dumped a truck-load of sand on them.

euphoricness 28

Why doesn't he just stab himself, I'm sure he'll still live so long as he only does it out of curiosity

That's not only stupid but it could possibly kill the father if he stabbed himself. curiosity isn't a excuse to do that.

cryssycakesx3 22

some people don't get jokes...

BeforeItWasCool 12

Wow. Right over your head, huh?

Is he ******* crazy? What the hell is wrong with him? He's going about this all wrong. That's way too direct. The correct thing to say is, "I have a rusty scalpel, plenty of lidocaine, and an intimate knowledge of male anatomy. Have a nice time tonight."

AntiPrude 26

Stealing lidocaine on the job huh, you rascal, you

Too direct? Nah, he was just getting to the point.... Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stab myself with a knife for making that pun.

Let us know how it goes... a few of us are obviously very curious...

That should keep your boyfriend in shape if your dad hasn't scared him away already