Today, medically speaking, I have been shitting for 15 hours straight. I hope the hypokalemia kills me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 20, I spent the early hours of my morning violently vomiting blood every time I got too warm. I then had the pleasure of shitting in a plastic container for a stool sample, due to said problem, after one and half hours of sleep. FML
Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML
Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML
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Top comments
Suzi_d16 27
Eat a banana every time you shit
Suaria 38
It can still be a pretty serious health concern. The opposite so hyperkalemia can kill you. I remember a professor in my nursing school talking about how she did see someone pass from hyperkalemia.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
I don't think that can kill you.
Suaria 38
It can still be a pretty serious health concern. The opposite so hyperkalemia can kill you. I remember a professor in my nursing school talking about how she did see someone pass from hyperkalemia.
Suzi_d16 27
Eat a banana every time you shit