By Thors_Hammer9999 - United States - Cadillac
Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML
Thors_Hammer9999 tells us more :
Hi no I wasn't stuffed up anymore, my sinuses will drain twice a year, once in the spring and once in the fall for about two or three days, I also tend to suffer from sinusitis and sinus infections. She showed up the day I was finally cleared up and was just loafing around the house. While I'd kept thinking I needed to take the trash out because it was gross just sitting there, but I wasn't expecting company, like I said she stopped by for a surprise visit. I was able to clear things up with my Grandpa, the man knows me better then anyone and he was just checking in on me out of concern because as he said "it didn't sound like me." It was also my idiot brother who spread it around after overhearing my ma conveying the story to my dad later that day. I have had several facebook messages and phone calls asking about it but most of the people who know me are aware of my sinus issues, especially after last spring when my sinuses got infected because of them and my face was all swollen....We're all still trying to figure out how my mom is surprised by it....Idk, guess she figures I'll grow out of it eventually. Finally while I have taken some good natured ribbing about it all and probably will for a while yet my mom has gotten it even worse and is incredibly embarrassed about it all....maybe it's enough so next spring she'll remember my sinus issues for once.
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Top comments
  wolfheartmoon  |  12

"getting cold"..... like the weather? That has nothing to do with a cold. Nothing. You can get a cold in summer. The only connection is that people spend more time indoors and with other people in winter, so are more likely to get sick.
Cold Weather =/= Sick Person.

  ksks1234  |  33

24-- how else are you supposed to have your comment seen?

Where is op from (it just says US for me)? This area, almost everyone is having sinus issues, she should have realized it if that is the case. It might not be getting cold. But I agree with you, 1, she should still realize with his runny nose.

  Gvfell  |  9

#38 Cold weather affects your immune system, as more energy is being put into keeping your body heat up, and less in your immune system. Viruses have an opportunity to break into your body.

  gracehi  |  31

19, Lighten up. I think you forget the purpose of this site, which is laughing at the misfortunes of others. What's funny about this to me is the irony that OP is being accused of being a pervert, but it's his mother that's so dirty minded she assumed that a trashcan full of tissues could only mean chronic masturbation.

By  Kalipczo  |  21

Lmao. Does she not see your red/drippy nose? Find a non dried up tissue from the trash and open it up for your mom and everyone to see. Cum isn't usually green/yellow.

  Embyr  |  8

It can be if it comes in the way of working, school, parenting etc. Some people have a real problem with excessive masturbation. Sad, really. But on a general note, it's healthy.

  speckledots  |  29

I'm not seeing why people make it a big deal to correct someone's spelling over a typo error. There is a difference if someone uses the wrong "there, their, your, you're". But a misspelling by a letter right next to the intended one. Really? We know what it says. No need to point it out every damn time.