By Thors_Hammer9999 - 23/11/2013 06:05 - United States - Cadillac

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 002
You deserved it 2 887

Thors_Hammer9999 tells us more.

Thors_Hammer9999 17

Hi no I wasn't stuffed up anymore, my sinuses will drain twice a year, once in the spring and once in the fall for about two or three days, I also tend to suffer from sinusitis and sinus infections. She showed up the day I was finally cleared up and was just loafing around the house. While I'd kept thinking I needed to take the trash out because it was gross just sitting there, but I wasn't expecting company, like I said she stopped by for a surprise visit. I was able to clear things up with my Grandpa, the man knows me better then anyone and he was just checking in on me out of concern because as he said "it didn't sound like me." It was also my idiot brother who spread it around after overhearing my ma conveying the story to my dad later that day. I have had several facebook messages and phone calls asking about it but most of the people who know me are aware of my sinus issues, especially after last spring when my sinuses got infected because of them and my face was all swollen....We're all still trying to figure out how my mom is surprised by it....Idk, guess she figures I'll grow out of it eventually. Finally while I have taken some good natured ribbing about it all and probably will for a while yet my mom has gotten it even worse and is incredibly embarrassed about it all....maybe it's enough so next spring she'll remember my sinus issues for once.

Top comments

I'm so glad my parents don't care about that kind of stuff. Can't she see your runny nose and realise its getting cold?

DenBriZel 31


I'm so glad my parents don't care about that kind of stuff. Can't she see your runny nose and realise its getting cold?

"getting cold"..... like the weather? That has nothing to do with a cold. Nothing. You can get a cold in summer. The only connection is that people spend more time indoors and with other people in winter, so are more likely to get sick. Cold Weather =/= Sick Person.

cold weather affects the cilia hairs in your nose, causing them to not work properly. Thus allowing for frequent runny noses in cold weather.

24-- how else are you supposed to have your comment seen? Where is op from (it just says US for me)? This area, almost everyone is having sinus issues, she should have realized it if that is the case. It might not be getting cold. But I agree with you, 1, she should still realize with his runny nose.

42 - his comment had nothing to do with the one he replied to. Ergo, thread jacking. Be quiet.

59-- No way! Is that how thread jacking works? It was called being facetious.

^Oh. My sarcasm detector seems to be faulty today. :/

#38 Cold weather affects your immune system, as more energy is being put into keeping your body heat up, and less in your immune system. Viruses have an opportunity to break into your body.

Alexzandriah 9

Oh I feel so bad. But this is really funny. Lol you're mum should definatly not jump to conclusions anymore though.

AliceLockehart 18

@1 * your and definitely >.>

AliceLockehart 18

**2 dammit I just missed the edit button :(

19, Lighten up. I think you forget the purpose of this site, which is laughing at the misfortunes of others. What's funny about this to me is the irony that OP is being accused of being a pervert, but it's his mother that's so dirty minded she assumed that a trashcan full of tissues could only mean chronic masturbation.

Alexzandriah 9

You're being really dramatic, this site is supposed to be funny anyways.

May the Good Lord have mercy on your soul, child...

DenBriZel 31

Lmao. Does she not see your red/drippy nose? Find a non dried up tissue from the trash and open it up for your mom and everyone to see. Cum isn't usually green/yellow.

cryssycakesx3 22

that's the grossest thing I ever heard. noses are visible, she can just look at his nose, ya know.

That's horribly embarrassing, maaturbating isn't even a bad thing anyways.

Embyr 8

It can be if it comes in the way of working, school, parenting etc. Some people have a real problem with excessive masturbation. Sad, really. But on a general note, it's healthy.

I'm not seeing why people make it a big deal to correct someone's spelling over a typo error. There is a difference if someone uses the wrong "there, their, your, you're". But a misspelling by a letter right next to the intended one. Really? We know what it says. No need to point it out every damn time.

Wizardo 33

Nothing a little explanation can't solve otherwise repent, repent thy sinner!

FYL for having a ma with such a stuffy attitude to sex.

If That's true, then why did she get pregnant?

CrazyGirlfriend 21

dont you know? the stork brings them the babies.

Yah you just go and blame your sinuses we now know what's been going on. Hope it's not 2ply it could get costly