Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I spent my lunch break trying to open a jar of pickles that had been stuck for weeks. I finally gave up and asked a coworker for help. He tapped the lid once with a spoon and it opened immediately. I'd been fighting a pickle jar every day for a month. FML
Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML
Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, I was at my sixteenth birthday party. My guests consisted of my grandma who I live with, and my 2-year-old cousin she was babysitting. FML
Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML
Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
“Hahaha I loosened it for you before you got it open. You’re welcome.”
Brightside86 31
opening jars is more about breaking the pressure seal than strength. Couple wacks on the lid and it probably came right off.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
You need to do some weightlifting to get in shape. Start off with Lay's chips.
Marcella1016 32
“Hahaha I loosened it for you before you got it open. You’re welcome.”
Brightside86 31
opening jars is more about breaking the pressure seal than strength. Couple wacks on the lid and it probably came right off.
BurnInDemonFire 39
"My manliness! Nooooooooooooooooooo!"
Annies 20
I’m putting FYL, only because there’s no such thing as a “hand workout.” P