Good old gender stereotypes

By Brian - 05/11/2020 13:59 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 771

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/01/2013 00:06 - United States - Marysville

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 845

You deserved it 3 843

By Anonymous - 10/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 499

You deserved it 41 174

By tumbleshay - 21/03/2015 01:32 - United States - Veneta

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 157

You deserved it 4 867

Emotional

By skyeraven - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 292

You deserved it 4 747

Thanks Mom

By Anonymous - 08/12/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 106

By maryfaithh - 27/01/2012 16:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 511

You deserved it 25 981

By Stumble - 17/01/2010 04:43 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 329

You deserved it 27 647

By Lickmebaby - 12/02/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - Enfield

Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 736

You deserved it 508

By mee - 02/01/2016 08:25 - United States - Opelousas

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 387

You deserved it 3 814

Fragile

By lithium-dreams - 16/07/2022 22:00

Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 144

Marcella1016 31

Thursday 5 November 2020 18:19

“Hahaha I loosened it for you before you got it open. You’re welcome.”

Brightside86 29

Friday 6 November 2020 3:21

opening jars is more about breaking the pressure seal than strength. Couple wacks on the lid and it probably came right off.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 5 November 2020 16:13

You need to do some weightlifting to get in shape. Start off with Lay's chips.

Marcella1016 31

Thursday 5 November 2020 18:19

“Hahaha I loosened it for you before you got it open. You’re welcome.”

Brightside86 29

Friday 6 November 2020 3:21

opening jars is more about breaking the pressure seal than strength. Couple wacks on the lid and it probably came right off.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Sunday 8 November 2020 4:18

"My manliness! Nooooooooooooooooooo!"

Annies 17

Monday 29 March 2021 10:45

I’m putting FYL, only because there’s no such thing as a “hand workout.” P

Keywords

Coffee Love Awkward Harassment Miscellaneous Family Anger issues Mental health Weird Confused Sex Cheating My ex Work Social Media Facebook Health Relatable Babies Parenting Nice Guys Creepypasta LGBTQIA+ Religion Painful Food Transportation Intimacy Coworkers Death

The Top

Today, I received a message on a dating app. It was the girl I'd always wanted to marry, but who disappeared from my life when we were younger. She went on and on about how much she missed me... and how much she wanted me to meet her husband and 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 407

You deserved it 458

Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 053

You deserved it 1 165

The Top

Today, my car's parking gear and parking brake failed. I watched as it rolled down a big hill into someone's 2017, $30,000 camper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 281

You deserved it 310

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 436

You deserved it 3 678

Today, my two year-old fell with a toy in her hand. The TV isn't even paid off yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 463

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 719

You deserved it 10 346

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 757

You deserved it 3 666

Today, based on recent x-rays, I have the right knee of a 60-year-old, the left knee of a 70-year-old, and the right hip joint of a 100-year-old who's been dead for 15 years. I'm only 19 years old and my doctor says I'm gonna need two walking sticks by the time I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 443

You deserved it 168