Good old gender stereotypes

By Brian - 05/11/2020 13:59 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I couldn't open a jar of mayo and my cousin had to open it for me. She's a 16 year-old girl and I'm a 24 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 777

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 500

You deserved it 41 180

By Anonymous - 06/01/2013 00:06 - United States - Marysville

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 849

You deserved it 3 844

By tumbleshay - 21/03/2015 01:32 - United States - Veneta

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 4 869

By bestbirthdayever - 24/08/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I was at my sixteenth birthday party. My guests consisted of my grandma who I live with, and my 2-year-old cousin she was babysitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 756

You deserved it 4 217

By stuckwithafamilyofcunts - 27/04/2013 20:23 - Spain - El Puig

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 637

You deserved it 3 675

By soupduped - 06/12/2009 03:37 - United States

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 838

You deserved it 38 347

Thanks Mom

By Anonymous - 08/12/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 109

By Lickmebaby - 12/02/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - Enfield

Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 742

You deserved it 510

By Foreveralone17362562 - 16/04/2014 02:18 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 499

You deserved it 5 756

Great idea

By dumbbb - 27/12/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 263

You deserved it 46 014

Marcella1016 31

Thursday 5 November 2020 18:19

“Hahaha I loosened it for you before you got it open. You’re welcome.”

Brightside86 30

Friday 6 November 2020 3:21

opening jars is more about breaking the pressure seal than strength. Couple wacks on the lid and it probably came right off.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 5 November 2020 16:13

You need to do some weightlifting to get in shape. Start off with Lay's chips.

Marcella1016 31

Thursday 5 November 2020 18:19

“Hahaha I loosened it for you before you got it open. You’re welcome.”

Brightside86 30

Friday 6 November 2020 3:21

opening jars is more about breaking the pressure seal than strength. Couple wacks on the lid and it probably came right off.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Sunday 8 November 2020 4:18

"My manliness! Nooooooooooooooooooo!"

Annies 17

Monday 29 March 2021 10:45

I’m putting FYL, only because there’s no such thing as a “hand workout.” P

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The Top

Today, my plan to punish my husband by leaving him for a week completely failed. When I got home from the hotel, he had his buddies over happily watching football, but his face fell when I walked in, like I’d ruined his day by coming home. I don’t think my marriage can be saved at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 1 453

Today, the homewrecker who stole my boyfriend had the audacity to text me that I have to pay her medical bills from the pounding I gave her when I caught her and my boyfriend red-handed. She doesn’t care that I will now be a single mom of two kids and my only source of income is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 918

The Top

Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 458

You deserved it 2 891

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend. When the bill came with a customer satisfaction survey, I put honestly that the "server friendliness" was "below average." Ten minutes later, I had to return to the restaurant to beg the waitress for my keys, which I had left on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 930

You deserved it 22 607

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 643

You deserved it 26 348

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My steering wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 128

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 445

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 290

You deserved it 1 028