Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 38
Is he ******* crazy? What the hell is wrong with him? He's going about this all wrong. That's way too direct. The correct thing to say is, "I have a rusty scalpel, plenty of lidocaine, and an intimate knowledge of male anatomy. Have a nice time tonight."
droidlover 14
Did he stab him?!?!??
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Comments (139)
foxy_grampa 19
How subtle
jaybone87 8
I'd do the same
keepingitnasty 15
It's a lot like stabbing into a watermelon...or so I've heard.
awkwardloveannie 28
so did he find out what its like?
cryssycakesx3 22
Yes. op's dad stabbed him. she didn't say so because it's an obvious deduction.
worldclassrager 39
I hope he took it as a joke...over protective dad...
NodakN8V 25
At least it wasn't a bullet
EternalRest 5
Guys like that are douchebags. I understand letting the boyfriend know that they care deeply about their daughter and that bad things will have some bad consequences, but pulling out a gun or knife on a kid they don't even know makes them look like an idiot. Overprotective parents create sneaky kids.
Xotoolyxo 16
You're daddy's little girl, gotta expect it (:
ffffffffck 13
tell him it's like that: the dude dies and your dad goes to jail for a very long time during which you will have a number of terrible relationships with dominant, possibly abusive men because you now have an absent father complex. but it's okay because he'll never know. totally worth it, though! :D
Powerage66 16
Damn, I wish could write, I would have a book here. Crap. If I only had the mind of Stephen King.