By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 530
You deserved it 4 558

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Why did your brother want YOU to teach him how to French kiss? Because unless I'm reading into this wrong... It sounds like he wanted to practice with you.


It would be wen weirder if he paid you to French kiss a girl while he watched

life_sucks225 13

Plot twist: OP is his first date.

jazzy_123 20
EphMi 5

what's next? pay you to teach him how to screw and go down on a girl so he wouldn't screw up?

It's like that scene in We're the Millers!

staychill 16

I dunno. I think that it's totally not creepy. OP: Lock your doors at night.

Because they are old enough to date? I really hope they are not sharing a room.

I remember when my parents tried to get me to share a room with my brother. Nobody slept that night,

juststephhere 23

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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emirie 21

I don't know about you, but I never asked a sibling to teach me to French kiss because I was nervous.

juststephhere 23

I'm not excusing it. I'm simply saying that people do weird things when they are nervous! He might've thought of it as a last resort! I think it's strange too but he might've had reasons

I'm struggling with how there could ever be a reason good enough for it. It's creepy and gross. Simple as that.

he probably asked her to show him how or explain the fundamentals of it and not to be his test dummy.

Why did your brother want YOU to teach him how to French kiss? Because unless I'm reading into this wrong... It sounds like he wanted to practice with you.

Isn't french kissing a little much on a first date anyway?

Sure, asking your sister is a little weird but who else would he ask? His mom?

KiaKarma 11

#45.Maybe a friend? Or you know, ANYONE else that isn't in the family.

#28 nothing wrong with it on a first date. It's not like it's oral or sex.

Good thing it wasn't one of those dates...the op may have had to blow him for practice.

#56: I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't got any (female) friends if OP says that he is such a weirdo.

emirie 21

Oh good grief. I'm sure he can find a tutorial on YouTube.

juan3611 14
jazzy_123 20

haha there actually is. One that my sister showed me was hilarious

For some reason I didn't think this would be covered on You Tube, but when I got to "How to French kiss while hanging upside down like a Bat" boy was I surprised.

jazzy_123 20

lol there's one where this guy has a peach and he starts kissing it seductively and then he eats it all up x)

UK...sigh...literacy must be a problem where you're from.

noonenoeone 22

Literacy isn't the problem here, he mentioned Alabama because of their lax laws involving marrying within the family.

Literacy is the problem here, because it clearly says OP is in the UK

Actually, OP's name on the mobile app is so long I can't fully read the full country name. All I can see is 'United' so this was literally a coin toss.

falon142012 22

Hm. I'm on the app and can see the entire location. Maybe your app needs to be updated?

bk64 9

French kissing on the first date? Dang that boy moves fast.

why does everyone leave out West Virginia in the incest related comments?!

TallMist 32

And, like 2 people above have said, Alabama.

Maybe he was trying a "we're the millers" approach.