By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 449
You deserved it 2 483

Same thing different taste

Top comments

irishpassion16 6

Sorry OP :/ my 100 pound Rottweiler would probably do the same, but lay down if it took too long, if that makes you feel better

Just because it's a German Shepherd doesn't mean it automatically knows to save you.


irishpassion16 6

Sorry OP :/ my 100 pound Rottweiler would probably do the same, but lay down if it took too long, if that makes you feel better

jrgr 6

Haha funny. Mine would hide behind me, he's such a big baby.

I don't have a dog, but I think my friends toy poodle would go crazy on an attacker!

1- I very much doubt that, after reading your comment, OP magically became happy.

Upon first glance, I read this FML as 'Today a 90 pound fully grown German guy sniffed and wagged his tail...' I think that means I'm tired.

My 11 pound dog would defend me... I can rest easy knowing i'm sleeping safe tonight!

I'm just stuck here wishing my dorm building allowed pets :/

My grandma has a chihuahua x jack russell. It's not trained to attack but it's vicious to anyone but her. Once it's got it's teeth around your leg there's just no shaking it off :L If anyone tried to mug her they would end up in hospital. Just shows there's exceptions to every species.

51 - Don't think yours is an exception, chihuahuas are nasty bastards, from what I know...

thatpeachyperson 12

43- I thought you were Tay Jardine for a sec xD And my greyhound would do his man bark but then cower behind me.

50- my girlfriend has the same breed of dog (chihuahua x jack russell) . Definately a smart breed. She always does what she is told. But she gets pretty agressive too. Mainly towards bigger dogs. Must be frustrating being no bigger than a boot.

UltimateGIRness 16

I have 11 dogs and my pet goat does a better job of protecting my than they all do

My Maltese would bark like crazy and then run away the second the mugger took a step closer to him... At least he tries? :)

My giant Labrador would jump on and lick the mugger, begging to be played with.

My 130 pound German Shepard would probably do he exact same thing except he would beg the mugger to throw his ball

My 145 pound chocolate lab, working breed hunting trained dog, would lick the attacker to death.

Who would be stupid enough to rob someone with a large protection dog even though me shep would probably do the same

irishpassion16 6

My baby is dead now. When I posted that comment I never dreamed it would make me sad.

fatcow282 8

Lol have maltese same damn thing

My tiny miniature dachshund would tear into the persons leg. Bigger dogs seem to usually be nicer unless trained to be protective or cautious

Sorry OP..he probably didn't know what was happening though so don't get too mad at him.

Redoxx_fml 22

Well dogs are "man's" best friend

You guys don't get it, do you? Dogs are eeeeevil! They know all the muggers, murderers, pedophiles, whatever. And they're in with them. You've been warned.

AbstraktThoughts 13

30: Too bad your username isn't StupidAsHell, because then, it'd match your comment.

jem970 19

You are so true! All the stories you hear on the news about dog saving their owners? They are faked! And all those police dogs who take down criminals? They are trying to help them escape! Please shut up.

iamabamf 17

49- I'd like to point out a few obvious things there, since it is clear that my comment did not work on this FML. 1- My icon is a cat, and the information is told from a "cat perspective". 2- My added letters to evil either make it seem like I'm illiterate, or not being serious. 3- No sane person would ever think one species is all this or all that. I was kidding, and I apparently should not be making comments in the middle of the night, but that doesn't mean you have to be a jerk.

Just because it's a German Shepherd doesn't mean it automatically knows to save you.

This. Maybe be a man and defend yourself rather than expecting an animal to do it for you.

Its a girl there is a symbol at the top with the fml to show if its a male or female. This happens to be a girl

That's not always the case. I've read some that is obviously from a guy that has a girl symbol.

PlastikSeraph 2

lol. How does it feel to get told by a 14 year-old? Dumbass.

Great comment, try reading about the FML first

German Shepards don't automatically go ham when a threat nears. It takes much training, which often just makes them meaner all around. Maybe a taser would help??? Idk...

biglittlehead 12

My German shepherd automatically goes ham around danger. Even if someone is just play fighting he will do anything he can to stop it.

SystemofaBlink41 27

44- but what if the mugger is armed? This isn't Total Recall where the bad guys miss 5 feet away from you... I'd say it's best to do what they say and not get hurt... Unless you are highly trained.

Still better than your German Shepherd attacking any of your friends that come over.

astralvagan 20

I think the point is that the dog seems to be a pacifist.

Shadowvoid 33

Actually, a friend of mine went to a friend's house and the dog attacked him and cut open his "happy sac". Many stitches later good as new.

The point is that dogs shouldn't be trained to be killing machines. Anyone who tries to do so Is a scumbag.

Lol, mine GSD came from a strong background, he's 60lbs and he's only 6 months, his father was 150 and he wasn't fat, needless to say he'd probably do the same so don't worry.

zuzupetalsYO 11

My chihuahua would have killed him. Well, his ankles anyway.

Sometimes it's just enough to stun while you kick their teeth in

You can't just asume because a dog is big or a certain breed that it will protect you. It has to be trained to do so. Some dogs are more protective then others, but if you raise it to love everyone around you then you can't complain if something like this happens. I'm sorry that you got mugged and I hope the guy gets caught, but don't blame it on the dog.

It's true. It is a common mistake to think that dogs will jump to your help when you are in a situation of distress. Dogs need to be trained for that, like a guide dog or dogs that are assisting people who do seizures. If they are not taught to recognize danger, they won’t understand that there is an issue. But it is still safer to have a dog that is not trained for this type of situation because it could very likely attack you for instance if you are playing peek-a-boo with your kids and the kids scream for fun.

True. My dog seems to gauge our reactions befors he reacts, if my GF screams his hackles are up and will take on anyone.

#75, I was wondering about the dog's attachment, too. It didn't seem to consider OP "pack." I grew up with a runt female German Shepard who was like you described: fun when the mood was casual, instantly fierce at a hint of threat to us. We didn't have to train her to protect those she considered her's.

Tell that to the apartments I lived in. I'm glad I moved to a house, lol. My GSD is a baby and acts like he's a small puppy, hahaha. Love him to death.

isis_morrigan 18

75- the difference is your dog is defending its territory, which is instinct. Out walking, it is an entirely different situation.

There is more to an animal then just protection. I know for a fact that if someone were to try and mug me or break into my house, my oldest would act like he just made a new best friend.

Replace dog with human, said useless Human is GrantW2505, make human trafficking and vending legal. Doesn't look good from that point of view, does it?

Lol relax 11's comment was hilarious

36 - it wasn't hilarious, you must have a weird sense of humour. 11 - dogs aren't just for protection! Why do you think people get Chihuahuas?! He's not 'useless' at all, he just wasn't trained to attack.

#11, Had to thumb you up. If my German Shepard would not protect me, I could not feel the same about it. Perhaps it would be better suited to another owner.

My dog is 6 pounds and it would frighten the most scary of creatures/people!

Usually the smaller the dog the more aggressive and protective they are.

Ironic, isn't it? The more protective a dog is, the less it will actually be able to protect you.