Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of our differing skin tones. The contrast weirds him out during sex. FML
Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML
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Top comments
The_Hitdude 12
Hypocrisy at it's finest.
toenibbler 14
One does not simply joke about other peoples' private parts, it generally ends badly.
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Comments (232)
drarmstrong 8
The irony of course is that both of you are completely normal by being slightly uneven. What isn't normal is his maturity level. OP, you are better off without him.
loserman67 36
You are infinetly better off without this "little boy" cluttering up your life with his childish problems. Sounds like the nuts that were the most uneven were the ones in his head.
thereseg69 7
What a douche
loserman67 36
I think you hit that exchange right on the head Noor. Except you forgot to put in the "crying" sounds the BF made when OP said his nuts were uneven.
groupleader 7
Everybody seems to be missing the obvious....Doesn't matter...had sex.
spazz666 18
Doesn't matter, didn't finish
Ugi 27
I don't understand all of these people who are (physically at least) grown adults but who break up over the tiniest thing. Be a bit more realistic and a bit less sensitive the lot of you! Your BF may not have noticed this but NONE of us are perfect, either physically or in any other respect. You clearly find each other attractive and we're not told of any other incompatibility. What IS going to be good enough for your now-ex if slightly asymmetric boobs are laughable and observation of a perfectly natural physical arrangement provokes a break-up? Bloody Disney. Bloody Hollywood. Bloody ****. Bloody Happy-ever-plastic-surgery. Remember: None of it is REAL! We are all just animals and animals are a bit odd and lumpy and farty and funny-looking sometimes but that doesn't need to be a bad thing because they are also funny and unique and exciting and sexy and all sorts of great things. Just deal with it.
Ugi 27
Nearly everyone has one bigger foot, one bigger boob, one bigger ball. Everything (well not too many people have noticeable boobs _and_ balls but they would if they did, if you know what I mean). The fact that the BF's balls are expected to be asymmetric makes it all the more idiotic for him to break up over it.
sleet7 4
It is my understanding that one nut is suppposed to be lower than the other to help "prevent collisions".
Izabushel 65
Exactly
KiddNYC1O 22
If you can't take the heat...
JadeWalker 14
Gtfo the bedroom.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Better off without him, OP. You'll find somebody better. :D