Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of our differing skin tones. The contrast weirds him out during sex. FML
Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML
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Top comments
The_Hitdude 12
Hypocrisy at it's finest.
toenibbler 14
One does not simply joke about other peoples' private parts, it generally ends badly.
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Comments (232)
DocBastard 40
I will never understand women who complain that their asshat boyfriend breaks up with them for a stupid, immature reason. For ****'s sake, be thankful and move on with your life free of this assclown.
YourBuddyElmo 5
Sadly logic and emotions are often at odds. It takes a week or two for the heart to catch up...
Pigeon89 34
I think it's more because it's an embarrassing reason if anyone asks her!
archenemybtch 0
Apropos? Good God, I think my iq lowered from reading that. Use English, please.
SlackerEmeritus 13
What's the problem here? "Apropos" is in standard English usage.
archenemybtch 0
It wouldn't have taken much more effort to actually spell out the entire word. People that use abbreviations such as "whatevs", "apropos", "cray", etc. sound like complete and total morons.
mhopper 13
105, you're an asshat. You probably think conversate is an English word, too. I wouldn't be surprised if English was your only language.
archenemybtch 0
I never use "conversate". I just think that people sound ignorant when they talk like that. You're wrong. I speak English and Spanish.
5t3ff1k4h 47
142, get over yourself. Someone proved you wrong, and you learned a new word. Congratulations. Now, let's move on.
DocBastard 40
Archenemybtch - You think people sound ignorant when they use proper English? Yes, apropos is an actual, real word in the English language. It isn't short for anything. Please do me a favour and never comment on one of my comments ever again. I'm not sure what actually lowered your IQ, but something clearly did.
bamps184 2
142- that statement is ignorant unto itself. Hypocritical bastard.
omfgshiz 7
Oh double standards.. He should grow up and be mature
19riotgrrl83 0
Good for you! Jerk can dish it out but can't take it.
TattleTale 8
This isn't an FML. You should be thanking the heavens that you are free of this idiot.
zombiibabii 4
I don't consider this an FML because you found out what an idiot your boyfriend was, and you don't have to worry about him now. I'd say good riddance. Almost all women have one breast that's at least slightly larger. Same with men and their testicles. It's how our bodies are made. He needs to get past his own insecurity and learn to accept that no body (literal body) is perfect by nature.
Sexy_Smurf 16
Don't be a douche..... :oP xx
ohreallynow1992 3
I'm pretty sure that's normal for your boobs to be a little different
Sexy_Smurf 16
He's way over-sensitive OP! As has already been mentioned and I'm sure you already knew, boobs / testicles aren't even in size. You damaged his ego and thats what he's whining about.... tell him to over himself! xx
Sexy_Smurf 16
*get.... tell him to get over himself!! xx *facepalm at my own stupidity*
letsgetouttahere 3
Most women have one breast that's slightly larger than the other, it's usually not very noticeable and it's not a big deal. Your boyfriend was immature and it's probably best he broke up with you.
iamyourgod 3
It's even funnier because guys are supposed to their nuts at different levels. To not have that is weird.
elainelovesyou 7
Girls' breasts aren't both gonna be the same size either- one will be slightly bigger than the other.