Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own... - FML

By user210 - 26/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 078

You deserved it 4 081

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Sooz - 03/10/2013 01:18 - Canada - Abbotsford

Spicy

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 400

You deserved it 5 833

Dreams can come true

By amiezingme - 26/07/2013 13:09 - United States - Swansboro

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part? He was by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 210

You deserved it 5 550

By anonymous - 11/02/2012 05:57 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 973

You deserved it 5 636

By Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 510

You deserved it 6 685

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 832

You deserved it 6 143

By Anonymous - 19/03/2016 07:29 - United States - New Orleans

Spicy

Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 860

You deserved it 1 881

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 712

You deserved it 3 168

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 787

You deserved it 5 282

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 057

You deserved it 4 513

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 408

You deserved it 3 242

Next

Top comments

Mercedes16 7

Monday 26 March 2012 9:00

At least he broke the record. Lol

iamabamf 17

Monday 26 March 2012 9:04

Doesn't matter, had sex.

Comments

mrtjawesome 14

Monday 26 March 2012 10:04

He should keep a timer in bed that way he can see if he can beat it by at least a few seconds.

LennyComa 39

Monday 26 March 2012 10:13

Good for him.

abethehonest 4

Monday 26 March 2012 10:22

tell him to fap more for stamina

MrGroovy28 7

Monday 26 March 2012 10:22

His record with you or in combination with other partners. If it is his first couple times engaging in sex that may be normal. Be patient and he will learn with experience. There are definitely a lot of techniques to delay or strengthen before climax but give a few more tries. He seem quite new to the experience.

nickmatt 1

Monday 26 March 2012 10:33

Practice makes perfect you have to start somewhere be a little less demanding

xxtastyxx 0

Monday 26 March 2012 10:43

Haha

sydneyaval 9

Monday 26 March 2012 10:43

Time to get out the toys....

nerdyfreak 7

Monday 26 March 2012 10:46

my wife's just happy I can do it in less then 2 mins :(

ThecomingofTan 9

Monday 26 March 2012 10:49

Tell her that you want another partner to make it more exciting. I would suggest Raffi from Wilfred. Trust me, it will change your world.

babyshaft408 8

Monday 26 March 2012 11:02

Hey the game is who ever cums first wins

Vkins 9

Monday 26 March 2012 11:07

Masturbation is training. Tell him that. Sincerely, 1hr35min

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Money Birthday Kids Cute Love Health Weird Awkward Relatable Abuse Social Media Scams Parents School Education Teenagers Anger issues Family Relationship advice Miscellaneous Capitalism Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 409

You deserved it 2 826

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 70

The Top

Today, I've been broke for so long that I felt a pang of envy when a character in a movie said that that they'd bought a tiny cup from a gift shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 146

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 318

You deserved it 1 995

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 455

You deserved it 6 193

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 137

You deserved it 3 450

Today, I was waiting to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, only to find out after about two hours they had moved out without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 143

Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 229

You deserved it 3 011