Intimacy: Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/03/2016 07:29 - United States - New Orleans

Spicy

Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 812

You deserved it 1 874

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nzhx 23

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Sunday 20 March 2016 0:52

F your mother's life

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Sunday 20 March 2016 0:52

Tomorrow it will be two minutes. And three minutes the day after. Isn't it wonderful that you get to witness such great personal accomplishments? You should congratulate him on his times each morning. Being out the stopwatch while you're at it.

Comments

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Sunday 20 March 2016 0:51

Well that's not very pleasant....

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Sunday 20 March 2016 0:52

Tomorrow it will be two minutes. And three minutes the day after. Isn't it wonderful that you get to witness such great personal accomplishments? You should congratulate him on his times each morning. Being out the stopwatch while you're at it.

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Sunday 20 March 2016 1:31

Bring*

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Sunday 20 March 2016 1:37

Good catch. Autocorrect is a double-edged sword.

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Sunday 20 March 2016 11:26

Better yet, give him pointers

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Sunday 20 March 2016 0:52

Bad for you, but I can't feel so bad for your mom

nzhx 23

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Sunday 20 March 2016 0:52

F your mother's life

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Sunday 20 March 2016 19:55

For one minute!

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Monday 21 March 2016 7:51

Someone already did, apparently

Thoricsteam20 24

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Sunday 20 March 2016 0:52

*Guinness busts through their door

heartbreak831 9

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Monday 21 March 2016 19:06

That's too funny!

AwkwardBookworm 27

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Sunday 20 March 2016 0:55

Maybe it's time to invest in noise cancelling headphones

domolovesyoshi 33

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Sunday 20 March 2016 1:40

Ear plugs

lexiieeex3 32

Monday 21 March 2016 4:10

But if it's only for a minute would OP even be able to get them on in time?

annoyedperson 25

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Sunday 20 March 2016 0:55

I'm guessing he lasted 45 seconds this time

fuckidontknow98 10

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Sunday 20 March 2016 1:47

Maybe he's timing how fast he can get the mom to cum

seemetrot_fml 16

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Sunday 20 March 2016 0:55

Gross gross gross. The thought of this makes me cringe haha

moocowmilk0 19

Sunday 20 March 2016 1:16

welp time to move out

Mathalamus 24

Sunday 20 March 2016 1:44

a full minute? that doesnt sound too good.

Nearly

Today, like yesterday, I've read so many FMLs that the randoms are repeating and I know that I've voted on at least a few of same ones everyday. And I'll probably do it tomorrow. And the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 9

Today, I realized that as I don’t have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any of the other things of the world today, this is my only contact with the world other than work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 39

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 117

Today, I hooked up with a single mother. Amazing sex, but now I can’t sleep because her baby won’t stop fucking crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 1 078