Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own... - FML

By user210 - 26/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 078

You deserved it 4 081

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Sooz - 03/10/2013 01:18 - Canada - Abbotsford

Spicy

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 400

You deserved it 5 833

Dreams can come true

By amiezingme - 26/07/2013 13:09 - United States - Swansboro

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part? He was by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 210

You deserved it 5 550

By anonymous - 11/02/2012 05:57 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 973

You deserved it 5 636

By Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 510

You deserved it 6 685

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 832

You deserved it 6 143

By Anonymous - 19/03/2016 07:29 - United States - New Orleans

Spicy

Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 860

You deserved it 1 881

Bragging

By lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 712

You deserved it 3 168

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 787

You deserved it 5 282

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 057

You deserved it 4 513

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 408

You deserved it 3 242

Next

Top comments

Mercedes16 7

Monday 26 March 2012 9:00

At least he broke the record. Lol

iamabamf 17

Monday 26 March 2012 9:04

Doesn't matter, had sex.

Comments

TColby 12

Monday 26 March 2012 22:59

Well, at least he's showing signs of improvement.

bubo_fml 10

Monday 26 March 2012 23:05

Instead of lube...Super Glue...Problem solved!

Epiqness 0

Monday 26 March 2012 23:55

Aaaww sorry hub. That really sucks for you.

subversivefreak 2

Tuesday 27 March 2012 1:52

I suppose you can use an egg timer :)

sickenedwinter86 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 2:14

Just use it as a way to keep motivating to last longer. Also FYI: some guys are minute men because they're partners are no fun in bed... Work with him and work towards a healthier sex life.

tatethegod 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 2:30

Time for a new boyfriend!

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:23

Oh wow! A full 2 minutes *sarcastic voice*

bluetech 12

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:38

Time to teach him how to give good head

InstantRanbowMix 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 3:55

Somebody get this man a medal

douglaslundy 1

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:14

Better than having to beat another guys record so go for gold big boy

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The Top

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 489

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

The Top

Today, I dropped my phone in the frying pan whilst cooking my steak. I had to rinse off the oil immediately and clean the phone, then had to eat a cold steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 028

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 847

You deserved it 4 225

Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 649

You deserved it 51 851

Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 121

You deserved it 4 244

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 013

You deserved it 2 103

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 311

You deserved it 10 328