By married life - 16/05/2013 05:58 - Canada - Coquitlam
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@#1 I say leave him with his decision. He'll regret it later, and if he doesn't...at least OP will know a bit more about his true colours? OP should use the deep sigh followed by the "alright then, I'll just go alone :(. I'll tell my friends' husbands you couldn't make it." Always works. When you agree with them, they know something's up.
Yeah, pretend it's ok when you're actually really mad, so even though you're saying he doesn't have to go, he does. That should confuse the hell out of him and gives him the perfect excuse not to go. Or be a grown up and just say you'd like him to be there to support you and that he can see his friends next weekend, this is a one-time thing that is important to you.
Yeah, agree with him. He'll feel so bad he will get wasted with his buddies at his weekly pub crawl. Actually he won't feel bad and he will get wasted anyway. He wouldn't care about the other husbands going, he's already out with his friends. Then he won't understand why you're mad, you said go. Some women's logic blows my own mind.
@#31 You have a valid point. I read this FML at least 15 times trying to look for something (anything?) in his defence. Guess he has no excuse. I still think leaving him with his choices is alright. Because you can never teach priorities to someone no matter how hard you try. People learn through mistakes and he's no different. Forcing him to go to her graduation would just drain the enjoyment out of it for the both of them.
It sucks that he's so unsupportive, but you should have asked him about it just to confirm... still, I think mostly a FYL.
Do you know how hard is to get a phd. For example to get a PHD in commerce, you would have to get your undergraduate degree which takes 4 years. Then you would have to get 2-3 years work experience so you can apply to MBA school which will takes you 2 years to finish. Then only you can apply to get a PHD. That's lot of work and then you suggest she should ask her husband if he can attend? Really?
Unless her husband is actually that mean, he was probably just a little irritated that she told him last minute and/or after he had made plans. (That's the only reason to YDI actually, she 'assumed' he was coming right, she didn't outright tell him). I'm pretty sure he'll eventually end up going to her grad.
Because people get their PhD on a weekly basis. I think OP has every right to assume her husband would choose to celebrate this once in a lifetime accomplishment over a weekly ritual of drunken escapades. Besides, it's OP that should be doing a pub crawl after graduating!
Maybe make a sacrifice? Ask him to sacrifice this one meeting with his friends and then when he wants to do something reasonable of course you sacrifice as well,
While I generally agree that bargaining is a valid way to ensure mutual satisfaction in relationships, OP should not have to compromise with her husband to gain his support of an accomplishment as major as earning a PhD. It would be completely unreasonable of her husband to want or expect something in return for attending the ceremony.
I finally see the light, I was thinkin more of finding a solution to make him go more than let me go support my wife at her graduation, I mean like you said, it's not like people just wake up and become doctors, it's a rigorous process that takes years and dedication and OP's husband should respect that, FYL OP