By married life - 16/05/2013 05:58 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 485
You deserved it 5 830

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Your husband has got his priorities all jumbled up.

Aren't husbands supposed to be supporting? He needs to get his priorities straight.

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Your husband has got his priorities all jumbled up.

@#1 I say leave him with his decision. He'll regret it later, and if he doesn't...at least OP will know a bit more about his true colours? OP should use the deep sigh followed by the "alright then, I'll just go alone :(. I'll tell my friends' husbands you couldn't make it." Always works. When you agree with them, they know something's up.

Yeah, pretend it's ok when you're actually really mad, so even though you're saying he doesn't have to go, he does. That should confuse the hell out of him and gives him the perfect excuse not to go. Or be a grown up and just say you'd like him to be there to support you and that he can see his friends next weekend, this is a one-time thing that is important to you.

Yeah, agree with him. He'll feel so bad he will get wasted with his buddies at his weekly pub crawl. Actually he won't feel bad and he will get wasted anyway. He wouldn't care about the other husbands going, he's already out with his friends. Then he won't understand why you're mad, you said go. Some women's logic blows my own mind.

10, Maybe...Maybe not. Not all men will realize their gf/wife is trying to guilt trip him. He may actually just say "Alright cool! Thanks for understanding babe!" And then go on their merry way. Unfortunately, some men don't read into things like that.

@#31 You have a valid point. I read this FML at least 15 times trying to look for something (anything?) in his defence. Guess he has no excuse. I still think leaving him with his choices is alright. Because you can never teach priorities to someone no matter how hard you try. People learn through mistakes and he's no different. Forcing him to go to her graduation would just drain the enjoyment out of it for the both of them.

I understand him wanting to enjoy a night out with the boys here and there, but putting that ahead of his wife's grad? He's either a clueless dunce or else just has zero appreciation for op's accomplishments.

It sucks that he's so unsupportive, but you should have asked him about it just to confirm... still, I think mostly a FYL.

Are you kidding me???

2, if your wife is getting her PhD, it's not a matter of making plans in advance, and the FML is that the guy cared more about a pub than his wife's graduation ceremony.

Do you know how hard is to get a phd. For example to get a PHD in commerce, you would have to get your undergraduate degree which takes 4 years. Then you would have to get 2-3 years work experience so you can apply to MBA school which will takes you 2 years to finish. Then only you can apply to get a PHD. That's lot of work and then you suggest she should ask her husband if he can attend? Really?

Well then. Your husband should think what is really important.

Aren't husbands supposed to be supporting? He needs to get his priorities straight.

Wow, that's pretty insensitive. Your husband needs to be more supportive of you!

You don't say?

Maybe he'll show up drunk and make a big scene! On second thought, leave him at home

Tell him if he doesn't go, he'll be missing out on something else for next week.

But then his only motivation is sex, not because he should care about his wife. He should want to go, not go to get something else.

Yes, but he clearly doesn't want to go, so she'll have to use any excuse she can get for him to be there and "pretend" to be supportive.

But the FML isn't about him not going, it's about the fact he'd rather be with his friends. Drag him there and he'd still rather be with his friends.

I think you mean for the next year.

He really needs to straighten his priorities.

How do you even YDI this one?

Unless her husband is actually that mean, he was probably just a little irritated that she told him last minute and/or after he had made plans. (That's the only reason to YDI actually, she 'assumed' he was coming right, she didn't outright tell him). I'm pretty sure he'll eventually end up going to her grad.

Because people get their PhD on a weekly basis. I think OP has every right to assume her husband would choose to celebrate this once in a lifetime accomplishment over a weekly ritual of drunken escapades. Besides, it's OP that should be doing a pub crawl after graduating!

People would vote YDI because OP married the fool. A weekly pub crawl should give off certain signals for starters.

Maybe make a sacrifice? Ask him to sacrifice this one meeting with his friends and then when he wants to do something reasonable of course you sacrifice as well,

While I generally agree that bargaining is a valid way to ensure mutual satisfaction in relationships, OP should not have to compromise with her husband to gain his support of an accomplishment as major as earning a PhD. It would be completely unreasonable of her husband to want or expect something in return for attending the ceremony.

I finally see the light, I was thinkin more of finding a solution to make him go more than let me go support my wife at her graduation, I mean like you said, it's not like people just wake up and become doctors, it's a rigorous process that takes years and dedication and OP's husband should respect that, FYL OP