Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML
Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part? He was by himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
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Top comments
Mercedes16 7
At least he broke the record. Lol
iamabamf 17
Doesn't matter, had sex.
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Comments (218)
TravisTJC 0
Well… okay no comment
memob123 0
Too late, you already made one!
shahroni1 3
do you play competition or do u feel love ?
ThecomingofTan 9
He has my record beat by one minute and fifty-five seconds.
SPAIDZ 0
Wow... Just wow
ThecomingofTan 9
That is the same reaction I got out of that Thai prostitute. She also got mad when I tried to pay her in đồngs. Apparently they only except the Baht. My bad.
G0odgrief 0
she has probably never had to figure out how much she should charge per second
DjeePee 25
I hope you both realise that him getting an ****** beforehand will most likely make him last for a more appropriate time. Or thinking about dead puppies, also does the trick. Anyway, I hope he does pleasure you before or after those two minutes.
CruelGirl07 5
That's what I was going to say. Either ask him to ********** or give him a handjob/bj before you have sex. Get him worked up again, OP, and the sex will last longer. I had a friend who always did this with her ex before sex...
ShazzRandom 7
Are you the ex? Or is your friend open enough to have that convo with you?
iArmy 6
For those guys that cum quick, get them to cum through whatever (bj, hj), then have them start on you, and that'll give them hopefully a decent little bit to work themselves back up. Sometimes I have to do this with my wife after its been a while. Thinking about dead puppies though... That could turn sex into a turn off. Dead puppies don't keep me horny. Just sayin'.
DjeePee 25
90, my dead puppies came from an old FML, about a girl who lost her mood during sex when her boyfriend told her he thought of dead puppies to last longer. Some FML's I'll never forget...
CruelGirl07 5
88- she's just that open about sex. Actually, we both always have been. The same friend's grandma actually sells sex toys...not that any of this matters.
ShazzRandom 7
146: fair call
michael91605 4
wow, thats a whole minute and 30 seconds more than me lol.
Dajucy1 7
That's not something to be proud of
Lightcrusade 9
Practice makes perfect! Have sex frequently and you will undoubtably get better :)
niospartan 8
Got him beat by 158 minutes, stop having sex and make some sweet love instead.
Vulpes21 6
Did somebody's nose just get longer?
linkinpark98 24
Well, that's more than the last time!
mader 1
Sorry to hear that for ya girl
fentron 3
Mandelay!!! Lol