Intimacy: Quickie - FML

Quickie

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - 14/01/2010 01:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 422

You deserved it 3 243

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Same thing different taste

This is shit

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 01:22 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 805

You deserved it 6 576

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 807

You deserved it 4 729

By Anonymous - 11/01/2013 05:17 - United States - Pass Christian

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 527

You deserved it 6 692

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:09 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 352

You deserved it 3 458

Slacker

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 08:00 - United States - Babylon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 112

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 223

You deserved it 5 969

Technique

By shiznit - 25/10/2010 19:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 676

You deserved it 4 301

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 379

You deserved it 3 124

By user210 - 26/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 096

You deserved it 4 085

Mr Selfish

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 11:00

Spicy

Today, it's the fifth time this week alone I've attempted to explain to my boyfriend that I need more than just two minutes of foreplay to get horny. He tells me he's too tired, but is apparently not too tired to receive head and then have sex afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 192

Next

Top comments

Anonymous874598 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:31

Have you tried sucking his dick before sex ?

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 11:35

What is he like 90?

Comments

Shyman4ever 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:31

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

justmeagirl 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:53

sounds like a medical problem, or a psychological/psychiatric one. Or he's on antidepressants.

Anonymous874598 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:31

Have you tried sucking his dick before sex ?

picturescrazy 24

Thursday 14 January 2010 21:31

In this case, you better hope it takes him a godawful long time getting it up ;D **** both your lives, though ): Hopefully he's not a young guy with ED. That'd suck to go downhill early.

skeemo 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:36

ummmm... tried sex for dummies?

d119 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:40

um **** might help.

GiddyXD 0

Monday 15 March 2010 7:41

LMFAO dude! but. true dat.

11wanda11 6

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:42

ohh man that sucks, you need a new boyfriend!

ChanceBell 13

Thursday 12 March 2015 15:21

OP does not need a new boyfriend just because of that reason. No one likes those shallow people who dumps others because of reasons like that.

nickbenz 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 10:49

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

letschat6 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 2:49

LOL!!! 

whitetiger13131 26

Thursday 8 May 2014 2:23

douchebag!

mcfaily 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 10:50

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

lokar_ogar 11

Monday 23 March 2015 17:36

#8 thats terrible.

pariah_scene 3

Sunday 14 June 2015 17:26

Please do us all a favor 8 and come back from 1950 and into modern times >.>

happypapp12 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 11:17

First woop woop!!!!

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 11:35

What is he like 90?

shopaholic03xx 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 11:48

aww:/ try dressing up in something naughty. you have to keep the sex spark lit

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

The Top

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 947

You deserved it 7 132

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 557

You deserved it 5 661

Today, I set up a date between my roommate, who I'm in love with, and his crush, who I'm jealous of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 1 001

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 104

You deserved it 1 682

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 345

You deserved it 8 645

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 160

You deserved it 6 914