Love: Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend...

By Happy 20th! - 28/07/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 788

You deserved it 4 597

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Same thing different taste

By unlucky22 - 22/10/2017 19:00

Today, I turned twenty two. Three days ago I was fired. Two days ago I failed a midterm. Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 653

You deserved it 394

By Anna - 28/03/2012 01:08 - United States

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 728

You deserved it 4 654

By sadinmass - 13/11/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 575

You deserved it 5 767

By bubblegum92 - 29/06/2013 08:02 - Australia - Perth

Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 250

You deserved it 5 015

By cheap - 18/06/2014 13:42 - France - Toulouse

Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 019

You deserved it 6 774

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 2 026

By misswhiskers - 28/02/2011 11:21 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 078

You deserved it 3 358

By Aeare_ - 17/09/2016 04:15 - United States - Dixon

Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 537

You deserved it 1 243

By Anonymous - 07/11/2011 00:26 - Reserved

Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 943

You deserved it 2 404

The gift that keeps on giving

By Katie - 29/08/2021 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend, since we weren't getting along. When I got home, I remembered that today is his birthday. Him and all our friends now think I'm a total bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 1 660

redbluegreen 40

Wednesday 28 July 2010 12:12

Orgasming Parakeets.

BananaSticker 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 12:06

I can only hope my 20th birthday is as cool as yours OP. Here's a banana sticker as your birthday present from me, though. :]

Comments

triggerit 5

Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:00

you moved so fast from your b/f that he had single solitary chance to present on your b/d a can of beer... and he did it with all his might... happy birthday to you

PwningLamp1 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:06

Pleasure_Pirate 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:10

At least you won't be thirsty while you're getting your window fixed.

illmatic2 16

Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:13

I like the way this is written.

rlerke 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:16

stop being so dramatic.

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:18

Happy Birthday. There's always room for beer.

GETOVERIT2039 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:18

it's my birthday too!

dakotamacc 5

Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:31

it's mi bday 2!!!! 15 lol

pilotX1000 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:32

I agree with 68 WTF!!!

finndizzle 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 16:33

thats either a really solid beer can or a really weak windshield...

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Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 85

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 3 581

The Top

Today, both my flip flops broke when I left the pool. Since I was getting on the bus soon, I didn't think it was a big deal, but when it came the driver said that I couldn't get on without shoes and drove off. I walked barefoot for over an hour downtown to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 034

You deserved it 361

Today, my mom fell and hit her head on our coffee table when walking inside. She tripped on a 1 cm gate rail. She split her head open and there was so much blood. This is the third bad fall in 2 weeks. She still smokes, despite having COPD, and the ER doctor telling her smoking is depriving her brain of oxygen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 108

Today, I was showing the Instagram of my crush to my cousin. He double-tapped the picture, thinking it would zoom it in. It was posted 5 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 1 531

Today, I put some Gold Bond in between my legs to help reduce moisture. After I finished applying it, I discovered that the Gold Bond had Menthol in it. My crotch is on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 2 340

Today, I'm in the best shape of my life after losing 2.5 stone over 2 years. I never got any female attention when I was overweight, so I was quite surprised when at the gym an attractive woman came over and started flirting with me. It was going great, until she said, "You'd be perfect if you had a dad bod". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 122

Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 662

You deserved it 829

Same thing different taste

The gift that keeps on giving

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