Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Get on with it
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Honest
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Stuff
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Fast and Furious
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Routine
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Bad sign
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Top comments
Scubanaut 13
Did you quit her cold turkey?
Bwcoleman222 5
"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"
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Comments (156)
Welshite 40
A turkdicken? What will they think of next?
LatvianPride 16
That reminds me of an old FML where the boyfriend leans over the table and says "I'll stuff your turkey later" xD.
angiemarie96 25
Should introduce them :P
extrasnipes 22
Perhaps op is that guy and that's his girlfriends comeback
mydadpulledout 17
It reminds me of the scene in "Liar Liar" when he calls the guy the defendant was boning to the stand.
ballplaya52 10
Don't blame you at all.
FranklySpeaking 11
Just think of yourself as a dressing. Or maybe as a gravy injector. Either way, she's going to like what's coming out.
Lebeaugars95 20
your picture makes this comment that much creepier
nelson_92 12
Lmfao ^
whirlednews 8
Then she should have said "baste" instead of "stuff"
domolovesyoshi 33
why? They're having sex which means he's inside 'stuff me' is the correct terminology.
JaneChemi_fml 21
I bet this is one argument you never thought you'd have
arrowhead532 9
I don't blame you OP I don't think anyone could finish if their girlfriend said that.
Wakachulak 22
I could. But then, I'm a freak so I probably don't count.
PhilSnake22 13
I don't blame you OP. I can just imagine hearing that in the middle of sex and laughing my own erection away...
meowimmakat 23
Maybe she wasn't in the mood and didn't want to continue? Or was hungry haha.
jaydoo 6
Offer her a taste.
mchmelev1993 10
Gobble gobble lmao
ericb982 8
This reminds me of the FML where the boyfriend grabbed her gf's chin and said "gobble gobble" XD
EvilLittleMan 23
Make things interesting by introducing a turkey baster.