Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
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Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
Scubanaut 13
Did you quit her cold turkey?
Bwcoleman222 5
"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"
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Comments (156)
swedeNix 13
Did she gobblegobble?:)
KillPrince 6
Good news she's getting alittle closer to learning how to talk dirty lol
andiesaur 18
Is she 12? Who says this kind of stuff?
katydid91 31
Alex, I'll take the category of: "What Not To Say During Sex." for 500.
tman1985 9
daily double
davincidasecond 24
Good lord, what's next? "Stuff my stocking"?
idioticmess 15
atleast she didnt say like a turduckin.
A_Perfect_Circle 12
It would of spared me some more time at least
Mat2000_1 4
"Sink your balls in to my hole like a game of pool!"
gnathrak 4
Maybe she meant she wanted it in the butt.
sabine123_fml 5
You should have