Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
Scubanaut 13
Did you quit her cold turkey?
Bwcoleman222 5
"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"
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Comments (156)
Attacksloth 33
This is where you get off of her, walk into the kitchen, grab a carrot, salt, pepper, rosemary, parsley, and oregano, and start shoving them in. When she protests, stick an apple in her mouth and tell her to shut up because she's a turkey and turkeys don't talk.
FMLL2016 16
Wow I didn't know it was thanksgiving already!
austinlynn2013 9
Guess some one else will be going H.A.M. while stuffing her like a turkey...
laden_swallow09 35
Tell your girl to quit talking like some jive-ass turkey. Eh, sounded better in my head.
Badkarma4u 17
If that's all it takes to throw you off your game. F your girlfriend's L.
boshbish 14
Who would say that during sex anyway? FYL
itsjusttofunny 8
I don't think that the comment she made had much to do with good directly. it was meant that she likes getting stuffed and feeling filled up.
icepick23 12
That's ******* awesome!
middlenamefrank 8
Yeah, that mental image is pretty much a showstopper. Especially if she's a baster.
chelseaalise 12
omg this made me laugh so hard.