Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
Scubanaut 13
Did you quit her cold turkey?
Bwcoleman222 5
"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"
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Comments (156)
Chronophobia 7
Ouch, OP. Maybe tell her so it doesn't happen again? I wonder how she felt... Embarrassed maybe.
fire3780 1
She's gotta be a fat girl to be thinking about food during sex.
tjw1616 21
definite boner crusher :/
ahh_rats 15
That's raw AF bro hahaha
squarecircles 13
So you got up and made a turkey sandwich?
babyfrost9443 2
If you laughed then you deserve not to get any ass for a while.
siggy_mcsigx 22
You two should definitely have kitchen sex.
ultra_notorious 26
I woulda stuffed her and provided a creamy filling!
tophatgandhi 0
You mean, "I couldn't finish, lol!"
beckshniddley 10
If sex isn't awkward some of the time, you aren't doing it right. ;) it's just a learning curve.