Intimacy: Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME...

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 652

You deserved it 8 159

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 7 104

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 369

You deserved it 8 000

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 213

You deserved it 396

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 135

You deserved it 10 844

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 273

You deserved it 5 624

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 1 762

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 431

You deserved it 34 338

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 6 264

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 604

You deserved it 90 929

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 953

You deserved it 19 160

Scubanaut 13

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:16

Did you quit her cold turkey?

Bwcoleman222 5

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:20

"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"

Comments

Chronophobia 7

Tuesday 15 April 2014 20:04

Ouch, OP. Maybe tell her so it doesn't happen again? I wonder how she felt... Embarrassed maybe.

fire3780 1

Tuesday 15 April 2014 20:14

She's gotta be a fat girl to be thinking about food during sex.

tjw1616 21

Tuesday 15 April 2014 20:52

definite boner crusher :/

ahh_rats 15

Tuesday 15 April 2014 21:20

That's raw AF bro hahaha

squarecircles 13

Tuesday 15 April 2014 21:27

So you got up and made a turkey sandwich?

babyfrost9443 2

Tuesday 15 April 2014 21:52

If you laughed then you deserve not to get any ass for a while.

siggy_mcsigx 22

Tuesday 15 April 2014 22:47

You two should definitely have kitchen sex.

ultra_notorious 26

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:08

I woulda stuffed her and provided a creamy filling!

tophatgandhi 0

Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:01

You mean, "I couldn't finish, lol!"

beckshniddley 10

Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:43

If sex isn't awkward some of the time, you aren't doing it right. ;) it's just a learning curve.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Awkward Family Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming AITA Cops Transportation Cars Kids Sexism Relatable Work Growing old Health Mental health Animals Cats Periods Job interview Education Social Media Stalker Instagram Spiders Ironic Phobias Bikes

The Top

Today, a coyote turned up in the yard where my son and his friend were playing. It was aggressive and foaming at the mouth, so I called the boys inside, and shot it. Now my wife is scared of me and half the neighborhood wants me gone for "dangerous behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 119

Today, while feeling really ill, I pumped myself full of caffeine so that I'd be ready to run an online gaming session. I managed to maintain until I realized one of the players hadn't responded for two hours. She went AFK without telling anyone, holding up progress, for the 4th time. I don't know why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 352

The Top

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 506

You deserved it 3 894

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 118

You deserved it 7 521

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 295

You deserved it 2 592

Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 016

You deserved it 55 187

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 4 101

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 780

You deserved it 21 616