Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
Scubanaut 13
Did you quit her cold turkey?
Bwcoleman222 5
"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"
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Comments (156)
nelson_92 12
What a turn off
ahippienamedrae 10
Well... 'turkey basting' is a sexual metaphor too, so you could've went along with it. ._.
Alhamdulilah 15
Damn, turkey stuffer :/
RomeyRich 22
lmfao!!! hope you gave thanks after ;)
Pat77235 8
That's a real shame, basting is what makes a turkey
shadypalmtree 20
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I yelled something I thought would be sexy so he could finish. He didn't. FML
pjsr 33
Are you the OP's girlfriend?
shadypalmtree 20
do u understand sarcasm
Lebeaugars95 20
I don't think so...
Witchylady 18
Yep I agree. That would put anyone off.
FMLworthy5000 21
She's a bit late for that holiday
Boeneman 3
here com turkey stuffer to the resuce
billiejoe7 10
You sir, are not a man.
sweetbliss3 37
not a man bc he couldnt finish? she hollered out something so stupid that didnt turn him on. not his fault. if my fiance said something along those lines to me, i probably wouldnt finish either, so that may make me "not a woman?"
starcaller17 16
#76, no, it would make you not a man, like they said