Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
Scubanaut 13
Did you quit her cold turkey?
Bwcoleman222 5
"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"
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Comments (156)
EdenCrystal 21
It doesn't surprise me that you couldn't finish. Whenever I eat turkey it quickly fills me up ;)
vajennatales 8
greatest. statement. EVER.
barlos88 19
That's when you take it to the next level and give her a whole fist full of stuffing!
Mike_Sweatpants 9
The finisher!!
Mortoli 30
Lol I can see how that's a turn off its no where near thanksgiving lol she shoulda said f me like a bunny or something along the lines.
radifies 2
Stuff her like a turkey
FMLcommenterer 13
For some reason, the phrase 'stuff me like one of your turkies come to mind'.
Lastwhiteknight 11
As i read this, the scene out of Liar Lair came straight to mind, as Jim Carrey roasts the guy whos sleeping with his client. 'You gave her dog a sausage!, you stuffed her like a thanksgiving turkey!'
Malicteal 21
I'm sorry, but that's just hilarious.
91hayek 31
Dude, now you know what turns her on and what will get her there. That's like the holy grail of sex. The potential is infinite. Basting, different kinds of stuffing, cranberry sauce, carving and maybe even turducken. You are going to become a sexual tyrannosaurus because of this.