By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 309
You deserved it 9 827

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Wizardo 33

That's an awkward morning-after. Did you do the walk of shame home from the police station?


blackvyper 8

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

She deserved this? I disagree entirely. She had a one night stand, as does a huge proportion of the population. But she chose to make breakfast, something harmless. I'm sure she'd make him some, too. There is no reason for this to have happened to OP.

This might be hard for you to believe but I don't think 1's comment was intended to be taken seriously.

I actually think OP is a he not a she.

That would actually make sense. Most guys don't deck girls, even after finding them in their kitchen. A guy is another matter.

But OP said "he" many times. Unless OP is gay, she's a woman. Which makes this FML even more messed up

I think its hilarious when any FML involves getting drunk its always YDI....but this time its not. So with staying with the past times she deserved it. I must say the FML community continues to surprise me, which pisses me off. Every time.

78 yeah i agree with you. I don't understand why 63 is thumbed down for that, OP hasn't specified a gender.

79... Omg imagine that gay people have one night stand as well, and they eat breakfast! Well you learn something new every day.

you guysss it says paulina in the name. which makes the guy a bad person but then again if there was a supposed stranger in your house i dont think youd be thinking about the gender. you just want to them knocked out. plus he might not have seen her. he couldve just heard the noises and came around the corner for a sneak attack

Name could also be Paul.... I still think OP it's a he and it was a gay encounter. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

summernicole17 6

Prettttty sure they are saying OP is a gay male.

joeyl2008 29

I wouldn't say it was deserved but they kind of had it coming. If you have a one night stand and stay at the other persons house DO NOT make breakfast, DO NOT do anything more than wait for them to wake up, leave, or use the bathroom. Just because you were willing to have a one night stand doesn't mean you can make yourself at home.

This is a hilarious FML, but I'm very curious as to whether the guy snuck up on her, or starting whaling on her like a banshee for her to get knocked out.

Wizardo 33

Flynn Rider ftw (assuming that's what you were referencing)

Wizardo 33

Why of course, Tangled is one of the best Disney films I've ever seen :D

NagainaFier 16

Man, I have got to get me one of these!

KVKdragon 26

"You should know that this is the strangest thing I've ever done!" *Clang* (Pan knocked out of hand and falls down cliff) "How about 2 out of 3?" I love that film too XD

Tangled definitely is an AWESOME movie! I basically memorized the whole lines in like the 100th time I've watched it. :D

jman26 11
MichellinMan 20

No it wasn't goddamit, why do you think she got hit with the pan in the first place?!

Chelsea_bella 20

She got hit with a pan in the first place because he wanted all the bacon for himself. Greedy bastard..

UnluckyGenius 21

There's bacon?! Why do you people keep having bacon without inviting me?

flockz 19

he was just angry you didn't make him any.

That's an awkward morning-after. Did you do the walk of shame home from the police station?

If she was knocked out, the next stop would be the hospital. He on the other hand probably had to go to the station.

How do you know OP is a she? Could be Paul, could be Paulina... By the way, your logic kind of unfunnied my funny.

because she said he was so drunk, so were assuming that OP is a girl

ApollosMyth 22

45, I doubt he would have to go to the police station for that. Granted he was stupid, but if he didn't remember then he thought she was tresspassing.

PerditaDessa 38

53, Gay men have one night stands too.

wlddog 14

While correct 60, your assumption is not statically assumable. Based on the current polling data the number of gay people in America is a single digit. And not even a high one. According to the population numbers, it is a WAY higher chance that the OP is in fact NOT gay, and was having sex with the opposite gender. So while by definition you are correct, it is not reasonable to assume the OP was having gay sex.

I'm sure 73 meant percentage, and remember it only refers to the population who would identify on a survey. There are probably many more who wouldn't identify, or complete said survey in the first place.

Or maybe he didn't like what you were cooking?

I see things didn't quite pan out as you expected. At least you didn't have to have that awkward morning conversation.

PhDInLife 8

Should've just made the walk of shame and left. That drunk of an evening + the one night stand does NOT equal breakfast!!!

God, how drunk were you both... I don't care about having a one-night stand, but imho there's definitely something wrong with being so wasted you don't even remember inviting a stranger to your house for sex. Doubt the sex was good either...

Doesn't matter if the sex was good or bad. No one remembers it.

no. the girl does, or else she wouldn't of said one night stand, its him who was to drunk.

54 - I'm pretty sure that if someone wakes up naked next to a stranger after a night of heavy drinking, it's safe to say they had sex.