Drunk hookup ends with a… bang - FML

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 545

Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Monday 14 October 2019 16:33

Hopefully, he wrecked your asshole during your hook-up so he'll understand if it can't hold in some excess gas.

KhalisKat 6

Send a private message

Monday 14 October 2019 16:34

Does nobody understand that the fart happened while asleep? How many people have that level of self-control that they can stop themselves doing things while sleeping? Truly, you people here are super-human. Kudos!

Comments

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Monday 14 October 2019 14:07

wow he's a keeper if he didn't leave after you farted

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Monday 14 October 2019 16:33

Hopefully, he wrecked your asshole during your hook-up so he'll understand if it can't hold in some excess gas.

KhalisKat 6

Send a private message

Monday 14 October 2019 16:34

Does nobody understand that the fart happened while asleep? How many people have that level of self-control that they can stop themselves doing things while sleeping? Truly, you people here are super-human. Kudos!

Seeya55 31

Send a private message

Monday 14 October 2019 19:24

Did you know there have been women who broke up with their boyfriends because the BF was sleep talking in their sleep and said another girls name? And that other girl was just their mom/sister? Humans are stupid either way!

DogStew 20

Send a private message

Tuesday 15 October 2019 5:43

That’s hot! Mostly because it’s a funny story that would never het old.

Keywords

Social Media Love Instagram Kids Parents Grandparents Sex Doctor Awkward Health Intimacy Relatable Transportation Cars Annoying Drugs Nightmare ACAB LGBTQIA+ Cops Kittens Cute Cats Mental health Marriage Depression Relationships Argument Ecology Facebook

The Top

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying". I get there and he's running around, playing and admits he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 837

You deserved it 2 832

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 649

You deserved it 3 387

Today, I've been yawning every few minutes. Which would be fine, except every couple of yawns my jaw dislocates, and I have to put it back in place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 178

You deserved it 338

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 266

You deserved it 30 156

Today, while my Mexican girlfriend was talking to her mother on Skype, I was laying down behind her. I got up from the bed after a while. Her mother panics, screams and ends up fainting. She thought I was a burglar about to hurt her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 56

Today, at my new job, I realized I have been spending too much time with just my cat. As I passed some coworkers in the hall, I nodded and gave them the "slow blink of trust" that is used with cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 077

You deserved it 2 879