Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 39
You're a jerk. Next time own up to your own messes.
Carpenter_C 14
You must've really been pissed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (192)
hynriech_lord 8
You sir are an asshole. Just wake up apologize and wash the sheets. If you were that ashamed imagine how your girlfriend feels.
dachayke 16
The only excuse you could possibly have is that you were really hung over, but that's still a complete dick move.
513cletus 11
My ex wet the bed, then threw up all over me. At a friends house, on their guest bed and blamed it on me. I thought I had done it until the ride home, when I realized my mouth didn't taste like vomit.
pensacolalady 10
I noticed you said ex, smart move!
UsagiArwen 23
You're such a jackass. This is more an f your girlfriend's life. What you did is not only mean, but it is so disgusting. Your GIRLFRIEND deserves better than to be rolled into YOUR piss just because YOU don't have the balls to admit to it. So what, you pissed the bed, it's not the end of the world. But if I was your girlfriend, and you did that to me, you'd be my ex right about now. I hope she dumps your ass. Grow the hell up.
krunchy_kitty 8
Maybe it was hers -- maybe she woke up before you did and had the same idea.
skipper2009 18
Congrats! You just reverted back to the mind of a 3 year old. Now go get your blanket and go to your room.
catella_fml 12
Man up!
kmartFTW 12
This is the best thing EVA
Sanosukeskitten 22
I can't imagine how she felt...waking up in her boyfriends bed only to find she possibly pissed herself while laying on HIS BED. Yeah. I bet that was so embarrassing she possibly got extremely upset by it. Way to go asshole. F her life, not yours.
MacDaddy916 4
What if she pissed the bed and rolled you on it?