Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 39
You're a jerk. Next time own up to your own messes.
Carpenter_C 14
You must've really been pissed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (192)
mysweetinsanity 3
Better to be pissed off than pissed on :/
Zelphoric 25
I'm glad you used "than" instead of "then" I've seen that used in this case before :p
thatnucca 36
And she's still with you why?! Smfh
TXFernwoods 26
Hopefully she's not mad at you for being a dumbass
derpina15 26
Because admitting to what you've done has way more consequences than rolling your girlfriend into a puddle of your piss...
julia2750 11
"Today, I wet the bed when I was asleep. I woke up to the disgusted face of my boyfriend. FML"
brookenicolee29 27
I think the OP is a girl. Her gender sign says so anyways..
Welshite 39
#44: Uh...no.
brookenicolee29 27
**** nevermind. Wrong symbol.
junkman6 22
Really rough week ey 44? :P
brookenicolee29 27
You could say that.
weveallbeenthere 30
a real man wouldn't have done that. Asshole.
xtna 9
dick
well_hi_there 7
your an asshole
dachayke 16
It's time for another episode of "The Grammar Nazi"! Ahem. *you're. Thank you for watching "The Grammar Nazi"! Stay tuned next time to see the Nazi correct the "then and than error". Now for the weather...
buttcramp 21
This was the most clever way to call someone out for their improper grammar! Normally, I sort of groan to myself when the grammar police comment but this made me crack a smile! Thanks for being original and not a total ass lol
Chellybelly92 14
More like **** her life for being with a man that can't own up to something that small.
BrittNic0le 9
Lying about it and blaming your girlfriend makes you a butt munch, where simply peeing the bed makes you human. I wonder how she'll react when she notices that after supposedly having an accident her pants are somehow magically dry.