Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
You're a jerk. Next time own up to your own messes.
Carpenter_C 14
You must've really been pissed.
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Comments (192)
worldclassrager 41
Man up...it happens pass out piss the bed...
buttcramp 21
this has never happened to me.. and I have a partying past I'm not too proud of. if this is something that regularly happens to you, I'd consult a physician or quit drinking so much.
heartsoflions 16
you're a ********.
upallnight11 19
That's pathetic. It's not like she'll break up with you over something that small
ClearlyImFunny 12
Im sorry but i think most of you would try to cover it up, i bet none of you would be like yeah im an adult and i pissed the bed
arsenicalhumor 30
I find that those theories work best when you know the people personally.
buttcramp 21
yeah, it wasn't the peeing of the bed everyone is hating on. it's the disrespect for the girl.
Missyeru 14
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking only to find my now ex-boyfriend rolled me over into a puddle of piss, and tried blaming me for wetting the bed. FML.
Labyrinth13 20
You're a douche.
toxxickittyy 19
I sincerely hope you didn't make her clean it up....FHL and YDI
olpally 33
Jackass move on your part.
ileenefudge 29
I hope this isn't an ongoing thing with you blaming your girlfriend for all the stupid shit you do. If so, she needs to find someone way better. Learn to own up to your mistakes and quit blaming others especially your girlfriend. I've been in that situation and my ex thought he could get away with it over and over again with any mistake he did, even to go as far as blame me for his cheating. You are an ass pineapple and you deserve it.
darthjulez 11
I like that one small incident like him trying to blame something embarrassing on his girlfriend immediately makes his whole relationship horrible. How do you know they don't play small pranks on each other like this? Yes, it would be awful to wake up in but maybe they have a relaxed relationship and it doesn't matter. If my boyfriend pulled this, I'd probably be annoyed when I woke up but I'd laugh about it later that day. Just because you had a shitty boyfriend once doesn't make this guy a douche canoe, too.
ileenefudge 29
He was out late partying and specifically said he wet the bed and blamed his gf. This doesn't sound like a prank. It seems he blamed her on purpose and he knew it's messed up but didn't care. Pranks ( if done right) are supposed to be of good intentions and no harm and it helps if the other person is in on the whole prank war thing otherwise it just makes the person seem like an ass. It doesn't seem like it was a prank. And OP pulled a dick move on his girlfriend like that.
arsenicalhumor 30
Not only is that pathetic, but it's disgusting too. Instead of rolling your girlfriend into the mess, try ******* cleaning it up- like a big boy.