Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 39
You're a jerk. Next time own up to your own messes.
Carpenter_C 14
You must've really been pissed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (192)
hnylst 12
AHAHAHAHAHA high five to you.
JMichael 25
You're a bit of an ass if you can't take the blame OP.
how_to_implode 17
Too ashamed to tell your girlfriend, but not the rest of the world. Grow up, dude. It's urine, it happens. None of this sounds like YOUR life is effed.
littlem91 29
Well, tell the rest of the world anonymously. Clearly always a coward though.
how_to_implode 17
It's not so much about who knows it was him, but how much crap he's going to get from us here versus from his girlfriend if he'd just owned up to it. A silly, silly man he is.
sunnyray812 42
I bet you feel great embarrassing her. YDI.
1947Chevy 17
Your life sucks and you deserve it
snackswell37 4
Don't listen to these assholes. You did the right thing.
molliciousj 19
Well hopefully she has an FML account and reads this so she can dump your bed-peeing blame-passing sorry ass.
darthjulez 11
If a relationship ends over something so trivial, it was probably headed for the shitter long before this. Urine is harmless. Especially if you live with someone, something like this shouldn't end a relationship.
hayjay2000 8
So if your boyfriend rolled you into a pool of his piss and tried to blame you for peeing the bed and embarrassing you, you wouldn't be pissed off at all? (I really didn't intend that pun sorry)
lizzicakes 4
That's horribly funny! F your girlfriend's life.
Mr_Bastinado 2
You sir, have just become "The Most Interesting Man".
dachayke 16
I don't always piss the bed. But when I do, I roll my girlfriend into the puddle like an asshole instead of facing reality.
lysx84 24
My fiancée got so drunk that he pee'd in the corner of our bedroom recently. These things happen, I was more annoyed that he didn't apologise - he denied the whole thing. He couldn't deny it after I pointed it out and made him clean it up though.