Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my partner by leaving a love letter on his car's windshield while he was at work. He texted me later saying, “You know you left that on my coworker’s car, right?” Now some stranger thinks I want to “snuggle forever.” FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML
Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML
Today, I drove three hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in three weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off, and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML
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Top comments
OmniFML 0
Come back and write it with a baseball bat. It's the thought that counts. ;)
easylazy 0
You shouldn't jump to conclusions maybe she was having sex with YOU in the backseat DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?! No. THat's what I thought.
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Comments (200)
studentwoes 2
I agree with the people that said you should have still written on the car, but dumped her with it. That really sucks! sorry!
irishdancer 0
Dudes... They are called Window Markers! http://www.crayolastore.com/product_detail.asp?T1=CRA+58-8166&. He didn't use REAL markers!
Derzimma 2
The best thing you could have done would be to approach that car, start to write "Happy Bday" while both watch in shock. Then proceed to write "I love", hesitate a moment, continue with a "d you" and just walk away. Happy Bday, I loved you ;)
plexico 4
So, who was the dude? Maybe I've been influenced by one of the earlier FML's today, but I think it would have great if you took a dump on her car. If you stood on the trunk and laid it right down there on the back window, that would've been perfect, especially if you got caught in the act by your girlfriend and the dude.
sickinlove13 0
lmfao! I haven't laughed at any FMLs today, but this, sir, made me laugh a lot. Props to you.
plexico 4
Thamk you. That's why I do it. Have a great day.
Lil_Ms_Trble 0
poor guy.. :(
yaktazuki 0
Go **** yourself #21
beaniebabe 0
why does everyone assume she is a lesbo??
shortypie 3
why would she be a lesbo if in the car with another guy?
shortypie 3
and to beaniebabe, where does anyone say that she is a lesbo? i read the whole list...
mexicansweetie48 0
aw that sucks. she definetely deserves to be dumped.