Nothing but tough love

Was it because you cheated on her in the dream?

If only you were a Masochist, you'd enjoy the surprise better.

A Halloween Birthday? That's awesome and to be honest that seems like the appropriate way to wake up with such an occasion. Happy Birthday!

Starting the day off with a bang!

I'm sure she feels horrible and will have other "surprises" to make up for it...and this time it won't include getting punched!

It's my birthday today too!

Tell her next year you'd prefer a nice wake-up blowjob.

I have to hand it to you, your username is one of the best puns I've heard in a while, keep it up

I had a dream last night that a snake was under the skin in my arm and then it bit itself out but there were still many maggots in it I had to dig out. I didn't scream.