Intimacy: Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob....

By Soline - 08/12/2008 12:05 - France

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 148

You deserved it 8 970

Intimacy

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inlimbo11 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 8:24

#6 scary? really? i remember it to be the best way i've ever woken up. just keep your body over the bed next time, not his legs...

ilaaFML 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 2:14

speaking from experience? haha

firstnlast77 0

Friday 13 March 2009 3:37

lol pwned

pinkfrenchrose 5

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Saturday 14 March 2009 5:49

lol

MEGAJOSH 0

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Saturday 14 March 2009 10:43

Well what did you expect trying to wake him up by farting in his mouth???????

toaster468 0

Monday 26 April 2010 23:13

you sir are a retard, just think, where could she have been where he could knee her in the stomach? his crotch! guess what she did.

TheOptimist 0

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Tuesday 27 July 2010 3:17

Get a sense of humor, toaster. I know it was a bad joke, but he was obviously kidding.

blue_bunnie 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:55

yea, you really should have woke him THEN done it. it's a scary feeling to be woken up that way...

billyboi 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 4:53

nice dude nice

gomego87 0

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Thursday 28 January 2010 5:34

meow

ilaaFML 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 2:14

speaking from experience? haha

sadoc 0

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Wednesday 18 March 2009 17:59

thats really sweet of you, dont let one bad experience deter you, just position yourself better next time

tateno 0

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Wednesday 18 March 2009 22:13

hahahaha ouch! that would of hurt

inlimbo11 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 8:24

#6 scary? really? i remember it to be the best way i've ever woken up. just keep your body over the bed next time, not his legs...

Joeku 0

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Sunday 22 March 2009 7:36

Best wakeup call ever. I've never kneed my fiancee in the stomach though lol. Position yourself better next time?

Jackthestripper 0

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Friday 10 April 2009 16:01

LOL does he know Krav Maga by any chance??

cradle6 13

Saturday 25 June 2011 19:07

^hahahaha. That's tactical sleep fighting right there

Time2Remission 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:30

OUCH!

Nearly

Today, I was at the movie theater, and an attractive woman was working the concession stand. She was so beautiful, I accidentally tripped over my tongue and asked for cop porn instead of popcorn. I was so embarrassed that I left immediately. I don't think I'm ever going to a movie theater again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 30

Today, it's my favorite grandpa's memorial. I live on a different continent and couldn't afford the flight ticket since he passed away 8 years ago, I couldn't even visit his grave, and never got to say goodbye. I miss him so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 12

Spicy

Today, I found out my 15 year-old daughter is sexually active. I found out by finding her in our bedroom with a boy from her class, using one of our condoms. Her dad hasn’t spoken or moved from the kitchen table in over 30 minutes. I think he’s so mad his brain glitched and got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 136

Today, after 2.5 years of being single, I locked eyes with a cute girl. We were the same height at 6'1 so we joked that if we had a baby, it'd be huge. After some flirting, roughhousing, and making out, she gave me her number, and told me to bring condoms to her place. Then I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 222

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