Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my best friend's elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML
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Top comments
iarefatal 9
You weakened him up for her, right?
SonOfAMitch 14
Eh, it's not that bad... at least she didn't up getting hurt and actually defended herself However, I still feel sorry for you OP :(
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Comments (167)
FuzzyFroggie 1
your gf is awesome XD
rasta76 9
you + karate = batman her = catwoman
Enslaved 38
I'm sure your girlfriend appreciated you "trying" to defend her honour. A+ for effort! Just be glad she can kick ass and take care of herself!
bugmenotmofo 34
Great girlfriend. So what's the problem?
unholyhalfbreed 4
Op you did what every man should do. You can see how small my gf is next to me in my pic, if some guy walks up to her and grabs her and i'm there yeah there's gonna be a problem. You win some you lose some but at the end of the day you stood up for her honor and what you believe in which is something very much missing in our generation.
tarickman 13
Well said.
Baybiiie 11
I love you :)
baseballgirl25 6
Look on the bright side 1 your girlfriend can handle her own. 2 she has the guts to stand up for the both of you. It may be hard to see op but that is a blessing.
hamusta 13
Your girlfriend is awesome
mountainmanneil 7
Always stand up for your lady. even if you know your butts about to be handed to you... don't feel too bad op, at least she finshed the job for you :)
bugmenotmofo 34
On the bright side: 1. YOu ain't dead. 2. YOu had guts to stand up for her. 3. She's still with you. 4. She's strong enough to defend both of you if necessary. 5. Jaw will heal. No matter how you look at it, it is a win-win situation. If you're worried about being weak either carry tazer with you, or take self-defense classes.
MorganBrown 8
Now we know who wears the pants in the relationship.