Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my best friend's elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML
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Top comments
iarefatal 9
You weakened him up for her, right?
SonOfAMitch 14
Eh, it's not that bad... at least she didn't up getting hurt and actually defended herself However, I still feel sorry for you OP :(
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Comments (167)
To_Die_For 7
Dude, she kicked his ass after he grabbed her ass. Even though you were unconcious. I know that is not what you want to be reminded off... But think about it Obviously she can be trusted. Ha trust me girls fall a lot lower than that these days in the unfaithfullness department. And beating up douche bags at a concert? She sounds pretty damn cool ;-) Douche bag may have beaten you up, but your girlfriend is awesome so think about that! Count the possitives dude, you have them more than negitives here ;-)
Fsvb 32
I voted YDI because of stereotyping that girls are supposed to be weaker than men.
Quikraptor 8
I voted FML because he stood up for his girlfriend.
Fsvb 32
I think both sides have valid arguments.
taltamir 6
Its not a stereotype its a real thing (on average and for true biological reasons). Its YDI because of his attitude about it though. He is complaining as if there is something WRONG with a girl being stronger and that instead of being happy for her he sounds petulant at being upstaged by a woman.
taltamir 6
PS. Fighting is mostly about skill/experience not strength. Skill/experience are completely gender neutral. And again, the key issue is that he is whining about being upstaged by a girl rather then being happy for her for being skilled enough to defend herself
The_F3rris 11
Someone has to wear the pants if you aren't capable.
someguy314159265 15
I voted YDI because you actually gave in to your violent instincts. It is sad that with all our talk of how we are the superior species, we still cannot overcome such base behaviour.
Deviant_fml 5
Is this guy serious? What, would you have just stood there and told him how disgusted you were with his actions and then try to get him to 'see the light' about his demeaning behavior? ...Or perhaps ignore him completely and then have the GF disgusted with YOU? Gahh, stupid people living in there little bubbles...
Baybiiie 11
Hahahahahaha omfg!! You made my insomnic night better!! LOL
radiocaf 29
At least you had the right thoughts. My mrs says I don't stick up for her enough.
Raynbobrite 1
Your girlfriend rocks!
MyPod209 13
Atleast she didn't leave WITH him after he handed you, your manhood but its okay, your girlfriend got it back for you.
siegheil_fml 4
All I can say is you at least didn't stand around like a bitch! You tried be proud of that.
Teknofreekraver4 3
I know I'm being that nerdy buzz kill, but you shouldn't feel bad about what happened, and ill explain why. when you went to defend her you didn't have time for the adrenaline to build, and sadly were clocked on the button;knocking you out cold. When she saw that happen, her adrenaline levels shot up, giving her "super strength" in order to save you and her through instinct. If you saw her get hit you would've had the same rush. You shouldnt be sad, especially if doesn't bother her, but man up and show her you can protect her by learning how to defend yourself anyways.