Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my best friend's elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML
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Top comments
iarefatal 9
You weakened him up for her, right?
SonOfAMitch 14
Eh, it's not that bad... at least she didn't up getting hurt and actually defended herself However, I still feel sorry for you OP :(
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Comments (167)
Jon15805 7
aww that sucks. for her, work out dude.
lonelyman36 12
While that may suck for you on a small level, I'd be glad that my girl can take care of herself.
KevinFlynn 13
I think we know now who wears the pants in the relationship
The_9th_Doctor 18
as a whip cracks in the background
burritosrgood 12
Who is your girlfriend, Arnolda Shwartznigger? sorry if I spelled that wrong
JackFaire 27
So what he grabbed her ass and she defended herself. Sounds awesome to me. You should be happy she didn't go off with him cuz he beat your ass.
foxy_grampa 19
Well I should hope he wouldn't hit a girl, so it would have been a lot easier for her
mxij 13
Shouldn't have played front hand backhand
skittyskatbrat 19
You've got a gal that can not only take care of herself...you know that if you need her there, she'll take care of you. Good partners are hard to find, she sounds like a keeper :)
QuintenPool 3
Am I the only one realising that she probably was able to, because the guy doesn't hit girls (hard)? No need to feel emasculated man!