Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my best friend's elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML
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Top comments
iarefatal 9
You weakened him up for her, right?
SonOfAMitch 14
Eh, it's not that bad... at least she didn't up getting hurt and actually defended herself However, I still feel sorry for you OP :(
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Comments (167)
Dracoboxer357 36
Op, who says the male in the relationship has to be the Protector and Enforcer? Women can and do win fist fights with men and other women, just because you're a man doesn't mean you have to be a better fighter than your significant other. :) You may not have won, but you stood up for her, and that's what'll matter to her in the end, is that you cared enough to try. Chin up, Op. you're still a real man to me. ;)
Enslaved 38
Agreed. And also most likely the girlfriend beat the shit out of that guy because-- hopefully he would NOT hit a woman back. If it's a one sided punching match, guess who's going to win?
tarickman 13
I totally agree!
johnny_derp 3
doesn't sound like you think too highly of women and our strength.
micahdunk 13
Wow. What a way to defend your girl.
poccocurantes 7
Op must be dating Pussy Galore.
poccocurantes 7
At least it's not Plenty O'toole.
Danni_04 13
You have an awesome girlfriend, OP.
manasstalker 7
Awww sorry to your ego on that one =[. but at least she knows you love her enough to try ^_^
saltycookies 5
Well now if anyone pisses you off you can set your pitbull (gf) loose on them
Dracoboxer357 36
39- ......I'm trying to decide if you're literally calling Op's girlfriend a Bitch or not..... :p
saltycookies 5
Lol no I'm basically calling her vicious
zessica101 5
omg why fml, atleast she defend herself! while you where sleeping
Xotoolyxo 16
At least you tried to protect her, she'll still love you(:
BlowinChronic 18
She'd have to love him to back him up like that after he embarrassed himself.
rasta76 9
at least you know now no one will mess with her. those self-defense classes she took worked wonders.
whinthy 18
Your girlfriend is awesome .